Mistakes
by Miss Pennyfeather
Summary: Their peculiar relationship is based on mistakes. And it starts in a kitchen. Takes place in Sixth Year. R&R if you like. -Request-
1. Chapter 1

_**Inspired by the song "This is Love" by (the most awesome) PJ Harvey.** _

_Mistakes_

_*  
_

Of course it had been a bloody mistake. But it was a bloody mistake that couldn't be erased so easily. Maybe because these sorts of things happened only in demented moments when one isn't conscious or mentally stable.

Otherwise he couldn't imagine what on Earth had possessed him.

All he knew was that he had had a very rough meeting with Voldemort and his block of idiots. The Death Eaters had been summoned by the Dark Lord quite unexpectedly, on Christmas Eve, and as his most trustworthy servant, Snape showed up as soon as possible.

Avery and his putrid sister had both caught two Aurors of some importance at the Ministry and were eager to torture information out of them. Lord Voldemort was very pleased with their achievement and decided that their torture should be the high event of the evening. All the Death Eaters watched the two men succumb to the excruciating pain of the curses inflicted by Avery and Bellatrix. Yet, no matter how close they were to death they would not give in.

Tired and dissatisfied with this embarrassing failure Voldemort ordered Snape to finish the business by killing them both.

'Why do you wish me to perform the task, My Lord?'

'Do not question my judgement Severus. Or has Dumbledore already softened your mind? I would be very upset if that happened, you know.'

The only small relief he got after seeing their eyes close was that he had not inflicted any pain on them but merely gave them their final peace.

'You see, My Lord, how reluctant he is to kill,' Bellatrix hissed kneeling at her master's feet. 'See how he cowers and tries to steal his way out of things? He is not to be trusted, My Lord. He can no longer follow your orders and has lost the will to fight for you. He feels pity for those dirty scums.'

'My dearest Bella, I appreciate your concern for my subordinates, but let me be the judge of my people. Are we clear?' he asked sternly.

'Perfectly, My Lord.'

'Until I am given proof of Severus' betrayal I shall have him close to me, as he is our only link to Dumbledore and his pathetic Potter club. When you, Bella, manage to secure me such strong connection, I shall no longer need Severus, but until then…'

Snape bowed stiffly and glared at the troublesome woman victoriously.

As the dinner was set out and the Death Eaters started discussing and drinking wine, Bellatrix lounged over the table and looked Snape in the eye.

'Snape. I was just talking to Rosier here who says he has a good hunch on some muggles. Don't you wish to join us for one night's fun?'

'As tempting and ridiculously stupid as your offer sounds, Bellatrix, I do not wish to destroy everything I have achieved by lowering myself with the blood of inferiors,' he replied coolly, though he was starting to lose his temper.

'Come now, Snape, you'd wear the pretty mask and no one would know…just the three of us,' she meowed.

'I have better ways to occupy my nights, Bellatrix, like procuring precious information for the Dark Lord.'

'How pathetic you sound! I knew you'd pull one of your excuses. You just can't kill Snape and you don't want to because you're not really one of us,' she said lowering her voice, until it became a whisper.

'But I know who you are. You could never fool me,' she said smirking. 'Behind that greasy hair and dismally intimidating appearance lies a huge, yellow coward.'

She chuckled and poured the red wine down her throat.

Snape did not usually bother with her idiotic remarks, but calling him a coward made him want to see her torn into pieces. Bellatrix Lestrange was nothing but an inoffensive tart to him, but her position with the Dark Lord was certainly irritating to him. Why couldn't such a _brilliant_ man see the uselessness of this woman?

Then again, women like her had other uses.

The night was turning into an endless spiral of ghastly macabre jokes and petty conversation, all reigned by an insupportable tension.

Fenrir Greyback was boasting a new set of victims prepared for his evening.

'They're three little girls, with blonde hair. I can't tell them apart. But their blood tastes different. I will keep one as a pet.'

When everything seemed bleak and disgusting and when he felt he was never going to escape this place, he always recalled _her_, if only for the shortest of moments. He allowed himself this small loophole. Lily.

And when he arrived – battered and weary at Grimmauld Place no. 12, he wanted nothing more but to sink his head in his pillow and never wake up.

He knew he could not go home just yet. He needed to report as soon as possible of what he had seen and heard, which was an annoyance to him, especially when he had to relive it all.

The house seemed particularly quiet tonight, almost as if everyone was sleeping. Then again, he half-forgot the very late hour.

Even Black's mother was snoring quietly and muttering curses from time to time.

He found the place to be such a haven of peace, dirty and forlorn as it was, compared to the evils of the night. He could hardly see well, his eyes stung and he was very thirsty.

He walked into the kitchen, meaning to get some glasses and conjure some water and he took off his cloak as he stepped over the threshold.

Snape softly placed the bedraggled cloak over a chair and opened up his vest, massaging his wrists.

He had stepped in so quietly that the other person in the room had not even noticed him. It was a woman, a girl by the looks of it, but in his current state he did not wish to know who it was.

She was standing by the sink, with a glass in her hand, looking down at an opening in a cupboard.

'Kreacher,' she whispered. 'Kreacher, are you there? Are you hungry?'

He sighed and taking out his wand made the glass fly from her grasp onto the table.

She shrieked and turned half-frightened, her wand at the ready.

'Oh, Professor…Sir,' she mumbled embarrassed and let her wand down. 'You startled me.'

He didn't look at her but conjured some water and gulped it noiselessly.

'You look terrible…and on Christmas Eve. Can I help you with anything?'

Why was she talking to him? He needed peace, only peace.

He dared look at her and he saw a petite girl, with a flowing river of curls around her and a pair of soft brown eyes. She was dressed in the most ridiculous looking pyjamas that he had ever seen.

'Here, I'll make you some tea,' she said turning to the stove and taking out a pot.

'What are you doing here, Granger?' he asked blankly.

'Oh, Harry, Ron and I arrived here yesterday. Mrs. Weasley reckoned the Burrow too dangerous for our stay this Christmas so we all came here. But I'm afraid not all the Weasleys have arrived yet and we are expecting Lupin and Tonks to come tomorrow,' she spoke quietly.

'Is nobody awake?' he inquired.

'I could…wake them up if you wished, Sir,' she said unsure.

'No. Do not bother,' he said sitting down.

'May I ask Sir…what has happened?'

'No you may not, Granger,' he said rubbing his eyes.

'I am entitled to know just as much as…'

'Why are _you_ up anyway?' he asked annoyed.

Her eyes widened as she took in the question. She wasn't used to this kind of tone and he had never asked her this kind of question before. He didn't seem fine at all…he seemed ill.

'I couldn't sleep…I thought I heard something,' she said hugging her arms.

'You should go to bed,' he replied hoarsely. He then proceeded to take off his waistcoat. The warmth of the room bothered him. He was now in his white shirt.

She quickly turned to the tea. The air in the room was tense, enough for someone to cut it with a knife. Somehow, she felt very uncomfortable with Snape in this state. They were alone, the house was half-empty and everyone was sleeping – and they were talking in the kitchen.

'I am sorry you had to be gone on Christmas Eve, Sir,' she added awkwardly. When she looked behind her however, she noticed he had risen and was walking towards her.

There was something about her tonight that he could not quite define. She looked just as she always did. Granger was nothing special, to say the least. But she was being oddly kind and her soft eyes had something in them that made him regret having come here.

Christmas wasn't a good time for him. He couldn't get Lily out of his head. He always kept her in his head, in a deep, obscure corner but now she was proving difficult to bury behind layers of thoughts.

'You look very pale, Sir,' Hermione mumbled as she stared at his shoes. 'Perhaps you should get a bite to eat as well.'

He was now quite close to her and she felt a very powerful odour of burnt wood and crushed mint. It was so unlike any smell she was used to.

He placed a hand on her arm and drew her to him and before she knew it he was kissing her.

Hermione had been in many peculiar situations in her life, but this was by far the most inexplicable, irrational, silly thing she had ever done.

His hand was on her arm and the other one around her neck, while she stood as still as a rock. His breath was heavy of wine, but he was not quite drunk. She felt she tasted blood.

Hermione closed her eyes for a very brief moment and let the kiss sink in and his weight over her, but not before long she shrank away mystified and shocked by her actions and his.

Her entire face was devoid of colour and now she looked far worse than him. She tried talking, tried making any sound, but fearing her own reaction too much (she felt she would scream) she mumbled something incoherently and ran out of the kitchen, up the staircase.

Snape was left alone in the kitchen, with the boiling pot on the stove.

For a long time he could not quite grasp what had happened or what time it was. He knew where he was, he knew vaguely that Granger had been in the room, but the rest was a blank. Perhaps it had been Lily, perhaps it had been Christmas or maybe the sight of two people dying by his hand, he did not know.

Perhaps it had been the word coward.

All he knew was that he felt strangely hopeless.

**

However – the following morning he did remember. The following morning he remembered everything. He had almost completely recovered and as the memory of the kiss slowly began to be clear, his torment grew bigger.

At first he couldn't believe it. His mind was playing tricks on him. Surely, it had been some strange, surreal nightmare that involved Granger and a kitchen, but nothing of it could be real.

And yet it was and he was so ashamed of it he couldn't even acknowledge it.

What had driven him to such madness? He probably knew, but wouldn't say. He couldn't face the reality of things. He dreaded seeing Granger.

But most of all he dreaded that this had changed and ruined everything.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 1: Huge Headache_

-

He had kissed a student. It was a disaster. And not just any student but the bookworm herself, the know-it-all, Potter's sidekick, Granger. He would have felt better had he kissed Poppy Pomfrey herself, but her!

How would he look her in the eye at school? Because even if he avoided her like the plague all throughout Christmas break, he couldn't blatantly ignore her in classes.

He came at Grimmauld Place only when it was absolutely necessary and made sure never to encounter her or to leave immediately when there was such danger.

But once – he couldn't prevent seeing her.

He was talking with Mad-Eye Moody in the kitchen when Mrs. Weasley burst in with Potter, Weasley, Granger and Weasley's sister. He instantly got up to leave, but Mrs. Weasley beckoned him to stay.

'I was just about to make some dinner for them, they're all starving. You may join us Severus, unless you have something else occupying you on Christmas.'

He barely looked in their general direction, but noticed how Granger had paled and withdrawn.

'Excuse me, I'm not hungry,' she mumbled and went back upstairs.

He rolled his eyes and left without another word, leaving Mrs. Weasley in mid-sentence.

'He is off his nutter, I've always said,' Moody exclaimed as the door was shut behind the brooding man.

'Really! If he thinks my cooking so bad he should tell me so! He should have at least said goodbye. What a rude man, no wonder he makes no friends,' Mrs. Weasley commented.

Ron and Harry exchanged a curious glance and decided to go see if Hermione was feeling well.

She did not seem to be. She was standing by the side of her bed with a book in her lap but not really reading. When the two boys insisted on finding out what was bothering her, she simply said she had a terrible headache.

'You'd tell us if anything happened, Hermione, right?' Harry asked worried.

'You'd be the first to know,' she lied and smiled reluctantly. She wasn't in speaking terms with Ron, well she wasn't very friendly to him, since Lavender was always on Ron's lips when he spoke, but right now Ron was worried about her and that gave her a nice feeling, to know she was the object of his attention.

However, the facts returned undeterred and painful. There was nothing to be done. Snape had kissed her and she had somewhat responded and everything had been an entire mess!

He had been drunk or mad or both, but he had done it. He had completely lowered himself in her eyes. And she had esteemed him. Who wouldn't? The man was a testified hero, not to mention ridiculously brilliant. She had lowered _herself_ in her eyes. She wasn't ready to deal with that part of the problem; her share in the kiss.

For the first time, she didn't want to go to Hogwarts or attend a class, namely Defence Against the Dark Arts.

* * *

But school did start and they did return and the inevitable did happen. She had to follow Ron and Harry into the gloomy room, with dirty windows and dusty desks and face someone who was a complete stranger to her, not professor Snape, but someone who had kissed her.

Did he even remember? What if he had completely forgotten and she was the only one who knew? Such thoughts had perused her mind, but even if he had been overly drunk and unaware of what he was doing, could he have really wiped everything from his mind?

If so, she wished she could do the same.

The doors banged loudly and his billowing cloak swept into the class as his dark figure strode to his desk at the top of the class. He stood with his back for a while, but when he turned he was the embodiment of calm and indifference. His smooth voice glassed over her ears and she shivered slightly in her seat.

'Open your books at page 167.'

He walked calmly through the rows but never reached her. She felt sick, like in any moment she'd simply throw the contents of her breakfast on the floor.

Snape seemed to avoid her seat and her general direction and she was very thankful for that.

As for him, he was trying hard not to look at her, though highly tempted to do the opposite. He knew it was stupid, but he wanted to see her reaction, if she had any. She still raised her hand, but he still did not name her, which was nothing out of the ordinary, thankfully. It was amazing how their already dire relationship was helping them now.

Maybe he should talk to her. Or maybe he should just let it be and forget all about it.

But what if she told her friends or McGonagall? It would certainly be a problem.

No, Granger was too wise to talk about it, but still – could he trust her?

He couldn't go with the always viable excuse "my word over hers" because like it or not, Granger was an esteemed and respected student and witch in the school.

If he approached her, would she pretend nothing had happened? For some reason, this annoyed him more than he wished. If there was anyone who could deny the kiss, it was him. He dared glance at her.

She seemed immersed in the book, her head buried in the pages, the curls covering her expression. The dunderheads next to her didn't seem to be looking at him with more hatred than usual, so maybe she hadn't told them just yet.

When class ended, the three of them got up, but Ron parted from them and went towards Lavender, taking her hand and leaving the room with her.

Hermione sighed and placed her books in her bag, trying really hard not to show her disappointment.

Harry looked at her sheepishly, not knowing exactly what to say or do in this situation where his best friends were having an argument of this kind. He couldn't stand to see his friends distanced, but then again he wasn't a great reconciler, nor could he say anything to her that she already did not know.

They'd have to work it out on their own.

But before the two of them could leave the class, Snape decided not to let her go like that and called to them.

'You may go Potter, I need to talk to Miss Granger.'

Hermione stopped dead and turned positively green. She dreaded this moment – she sort of guessed he would talk to her about it. But really now, if they both never mentioned it again she would be thankful.

Harry shrugged his shoulders and told Hermione he'd see her at lunch. She nodded absently and watched him go, further and further as everything turned silent.

She was afraid of him, afraid he'd shout at her and verbally attack her, shake her shoulders or something as puerile as that, though she knew he had no reason to do _that_. But what if he did something else?

He had looked so different in his white, half-unbuttoned shirt and black trousers, without his usual attire. He had seemed someone different and younger and more vulnerable. At the same time he had been, in some creepy way, attractive. She had lost some reason as well, when he had been very close to her and devoid of any dark disguise to hide his actual years. Now he was in a superior position, looking down at her, strong and domineering, aged and experienced.

'Sir,' she began before he could speak. 'I should go.'

'You will stay, Miss Granger.'

'No, I am sure I must go.'

He rose and walked towards her until he was quite in front of her.

'No one must ever know what happened that night,' he spoke quietly. 'Am I clear?'

Hermione stared at him confused. She waited for him to say more but he was waiting for an answer.

'Sir…that is all you have to say? After – after what has happened?'

'Nothing has happened, Miss Granger. It was an atrocious, reckless mistake on our part and we shall never mention it again.'

'_Our_ part?' she echoed. 'Sir, it was more _your_ doing than ever was mine. And do not expect me to forget it so easily.'

Damn, why was she saying that? She did want to forget it, but his tone and manner of speaking had touched a softer cord inside. He actually thought she had part of the blame! Like she could have pushed him off when he was standing so close to her that night.

Well, alright, she could have. She could have broken the spell. But she wasn't about to admit anything else to herself.

'We are not in third grade, Miss Granger, to point the finger at someone.'

'So, you were only distressed that I might tell someone?'

'As your teacher and superior I recommend you consider your tone,' he said sternly.

'I thought you would be more worried about the damage you inflicted on another person, Sir, since you seemed to _forget _that you were my teacher and superior that night,' she said somewhat angrily.

'What do you wish me to do Granger?'

'Apologise. That would be a start, _Sir_. Apologise for having…having harassed me.'

'I believe that is a gross exaggeration, but you are in the right, Miss Granger. I apologise for my actions and my lack of thinking,' he said remorsefully.

Hermione was ready to accept this and run out of there without a look back when suddenly, a clever idea dawned upon her. For a while now they had been suspicious of Snape having some secret affairs with Malfoy. Would she be so unethical if she asked what his share was? She felt he sort of owed her something.

'And second…' she began. 'I would like you to tell me some things in exchange for my silence on this affair.'

'I beg your pardon?' he asked scandalized. 'Are you trying to blackmail me Granger?'

She folded her arms defensively and drew back.

'I am only curious about a thing or two, that's all.'

'You're barking up the wrong tree, Granger. I would not be induced to tell you anything, no matter the price.'

'Well, I could very well go to McGonagall or Dumbledore and write to my parents as well. They should know of the gross immorality that has taken place. You know they would believe me. Or should I send an owl to the ministry as well and perhaps a letter to the Daily Prophet exposing the entire affair? I am sure Rita Skeeter would love nothing more but to write such an article. She would even embellish it with the proper encouragement.'

Snape stared at her baffled and at the same time livid. He couldn't believe the wretched girl was doing this! One stupid, bloody mistake and he'd have to pay like this. And Granger had all the satisfaction.

'No one would give any thought to such a preposterous story,' he barked.

'Are you so sure of that, Sir? Your reputation isn't impeccable, is it?'

'I warn you Granger not to try my patience. It is growing very thin.'

'Well, if you will tell me some things Sir, your patience need not suffer,' she said softly.

'You would not dare…'

'Wouldn't I? After all, you did injure me with your behaviour…' she said looking down. 'I suppose I shall go see my head of house first. I hope she will not be too scandalized when she hears.'

'Foolish girl,' he muttered. 'Very well…it is my fault I suppose. You may…ask me some things,' he said groaning.

Her eyes widened and a small smile crept at the corner of her lips. She couldn't believe it. She was shaking all over. It had taken all her breath to give that speech, more so to stand up for herself.

'Oh, thank you Sir. That is very kind of you. I shall come by your office to discuss it,' she said and without waiting to hear his reply, took her bag and ran out of the room.

Snape shut the doors loudly after her and filled the room with inaudible curses, as he tried in all earnest, to calm down.

Hermione was too excited and euphoric to believe that she had done such a thing. As she hurried down the corridor, she pictured her teacher muttering and growling in his office, at her disposition. She did not wish to disrespect Professor Snape, but the opportunity was too big to be missed. To think that she had blackmailed a teacher!

* * *

'You have detention with Snape tonight?' Harry asked in disbelief as they sat down for lunch. 'How is that even possible? I left you two talking, at his request I might add, and – and he gave you a detention? Just like that? Don't tell me he called you back just to give you one!'

'Oh, no. It was nothing of the sort. I had done some extra assignments for his class – you know my weakness in Defence Against the Dark Arts – and he had graded them but I dared question his judgement on a mark and well…the result was detention.'

Harry raised an eyebrow sceptically.

'His temper has never been one to admire, but still…'

'I suppose he was in a bad mood, I do not care. But perhaps it shall prove useful. Maybe I can find out more about Malfoy this way,' she said hopefully.

'Malfoy?! I really doubt it Hermione. The man will lock you up in his laboratory to clean flasks and cauldrons. The only thing that will make that man talk is a gun barrel to his head and even _that_ is not certain.'

Hermione was amused to think a tiny_ kiss_ could make Snape agree to her terms, but she didn't say anything. They both saw Ginny coming towards them, fuming and mumbling annoyed.

'My pig of a brother is acting as if Lavender is a bloody apple pie, the way he goes at her!' she exclaimed and sat down next to Hermione.

Immediately, she noticed her faux pas and tried apologising, but Hermione brushed it off, more laughing than resenting it.

'Actually Ginny, your attitude is exactly what I need.'

'Well, I can't understand how you two can bear it,' she continued. 'One of these days I will put glue on Lavender's lips so that they stick like that for eternity.'

'That's actually far worse,' Harry commented stabbing the roasted chicken. 'She'd always be around.'

'Oh, we wouldn't notice the difference,' Hermione added chuckling.

'Oh, that reminds me; Hermione, there's something I'd like to talk to you about…in private, if you don't mind.'

Hermione furrowed her brows, wondering what it could be.

'Sure thing, Ginny,' she nodded.

'What things do you have to talk in private that you can't tell me?' Harry asked offended.

'Well Harry, I'd love to discuss bra sizes with you, but I had no idea you were into that sort of thing,' Ginny said smiling innocently. The entire table exploded into laughter.

* * *

They were alone in the library so that no one could be part of the conversation. Hermione had picked a more intimate corner she preferred using when studying. They both sat down and Ginny began by blushing really hard.

'Er, this is pretty embarrassing for me, so you'll understand my reluctance.'

'It's alright Ginny. Go on.'

'Well – mum owled me yesterday and she wrote something very peculiar in her letter. It seems Kreacher – that dreadfully impolite house elf you know – has been going around the house, muttering quite loudly how he had seen the er…muggleborn – well mudblood – kissing the brooding dark man who served V-Voldemort, on Christmas Eve. Okay, so he had expressed himself differently, but this was the message. I found this amusing at first, I guess, but then really now you were the only muggleborn he knew in the house and well – I just didn't feel comfortable with the situation. I mean why would Kreacher invent something like that?'

Hermione had gone seven shades of purple during this confession, but luckily, Ginny who looked at her hands all throughout the speech, hadn't noticed.

'Oh…it's certainly amusing,' Hermione replied hoarsely. 'I would have remembered kissing anyone.'

'I know! I just wanted to make sure. I'm so sorry Hermione. I was just surprised, I mean it couldn't have been Harry or Ron Kreacher was referring to and certainly not my dad! And Lupin had not even arrived, so…'

Hermione coughed loudly. 'No, there was no one in the house I could have kissed. I assure you.'

'I know! Indeed, there couldn't have been. The only one who fits that description is well Snape! And for goodness' sake that's the last thing anyone would imagine!'

'Oh? Snape? God, that sounds cruel,' Hermione said laughing it off. 'Kreacher must have quite an imagination.'

'I suppose hearing Sirius' mother scream 24/7 has made him go bonkers. I wouldn't blame him.'

Hermione mentally kicked herself. Goodness this was bad news. Whether or not Ginny believed her was not chiefly, but whether Kreacher would tell anybody else.

Ginny and the rest of her friends would never have second thoughts about her and Snape, but Kreacher was well-known for collaborating with Death Eaters or being manipulated easily by them.

She mentally argued with herself whether she should tell Snape or not. The man would probably choke her to death, but hiding it from him wasn't a good idea either.

So…swallowing her fears and worries, at eight o' clock she presented herself in front of his office which was now on the third floor, ready for a conversation

* * *

_**Hey there, so this is the new chapter. Hope you all like it. If Hermione and Snape seem slightly OOC, my apologies, I will try to make them more in character. Anyways, please read and review!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_The world grows on me, _

_you breathe softly in my ear...  
_

_Chapter 2: Belief_

-

The door creaked slightly as a damp air welcomed her in. It felt like smoke, though he did not smoke. The first thing she noticed was the black floor and the white smears of candle wax, then a fireplace with no fire and a desk and wooden panels shining gracefully.

He was reading from a newspaper, slightly hunched. His dark robe was spread over a fauteuil near one small window.

She walked to him and sat down in front of him. He stubbornly insisted on reading.

'I have come, Sir.'

'I am neither deaf nor blind, Granger.'

His welcoming did not dampen her spirits. She settled more comfortable and waited.

'When you are done Sir we may talk.'

'I may never be done,' he muttered upset.

'I will wait,' she assured him fidgeting. Snape only huffed and turned a page. The soft light in the room was making his face ashen, but he still retained a candour that was paradoxical to his general allure of mystery.

Her own face was like an open book. From time to time, though she did not see it, Severus peeked at her, curious. She was all nerves, but she was confident enough to stand there, expecting him to give her some answers.

Granger was a boring, predictable student, but not such an uninteresting young girl.

In the meanwhile, she rose and started pacing the room, examining his belongings. He half-smiled under his paper. If she thought that would induce him to leave his paper and pay her any attention she was wrong.

Contrary to popular belief, he did not mind her inspection, because most of his belongings were powerfully charmed against theft or any such dangers.

She touched a silver mirror and a bronze scales that had a tiny dragon imprinted on the back and played with some odd trinkets that looked like fangs. She skimmed over some titles in his bookcase. There was only one there and it contained only Potions books and some articles of the Dark Arts. But she guessed that most of his reading sources were hidden in his private rooms. She imagined his bedroom clad with books of all shapes and sizes. Hermione had a very surreal moment imagining herself, lying there, among all those dusty covers.

At length she found an opening, a sealed door that probably led somewhere.

Hermione was beginning to wonder if he was actually aware of her curious searching. In fact, was he bothered at all? Was she aiming at that? Did she want to make Snape feel uncomfortable or irritated? Maybe that would draw his attention.

But no, he was just as immersed in the paper as before.

She came closer to him, on his right, in order to see what he was reading better. She stepped closer and closer until she was centimetres away from his right shoulder.

She was half-way through the title of the article, when he suddenly turned towards her, so unexpectedly that she almost fell on the floor. Luckily she steadied herself against his desk.

For a moment, they locked gazes in what seemed to be a battle of silent wits. His dark eyes penetrated hers easily, but she stubbornly shut her mind, not wanting him to discover…

It was too late however. The recurring, worrying thoughts travelled through her mind and he saw them.

His eyes squinted hard and he grabbed her arm angrily.

'I hope for your sake Granger, your mind is deranged, because if what I have seen is true…' he said dangerously low.

Hermione half-trembled in his grasp and coughed loudly in order to speak.

'I'm afraid it's true. Kreacher…he did see…'

Snape scowled and pushed the paper away from him irately. He was still holding her arm.

'I know it may seem alarming…Sir, but it's not so bad…'

'Not so bad?!' he echoed and released her abruptly. She shrank away from him in the cold air and felt somehow very alone.

'That stupid elf is and has always been a threat. He is too easily corrupted, master or not. I believe Mr. Potter is his current master. Humph!'

'You think…you think he will tell Harry, Sir?'

'Potter? It is of no consequence if _he_ knows. However, if Potter is Kreacher's master, knowing his weakness and foolish trust in everyone, Kreacher will probably and most likely resort to other powerful allies.'

Snape was talking in a low, crepuscular tone that was making his entire demeanour darker than usual. He could manage that by the use of his mere voice. She admired and feared him at the same time.

'But the Order would know…if Kreacher really is _collaborating_ with the enemy,' she said shakily.

'The Order wouldn't know if the Dark Lord showed up in broad daylight at the Burrow,' he muttered.

Hermione furrowed her brows, slightly piqued.

'You are the Order's most faithful subject. You should know…Sir.'

Snape looked at her as if she was a bother to him.

'All I am saying is that… Kreacher will be discovered at one point, if he really is engaging in such actions,' she reiterated.

'Yes, he will be caught, but there is a possibility that he will be caught _after_ he tells certain people some unwanted information,' Snape replied rising and going to the fireplace. He dispatched a small note through the Floo service. 'I've always taken great care around him.'

'You don't think he would actually tell _that_…' she whispered forgetting to add the notable _Sir _afterwards. But he didn't mind or notice.

'I'd like to think he wouldn't, but when has that made any difference? I have to make sure… in any case, this could be a dangerous situation.'

Hermione looked down, ashamed for some reason. Maybe because she was part of this tangled situation and didn't want to take the blame.

'You weren't going to tell me, were you, Granger?' he questioned raising a brow.

'I…of course I would have! It was…quite important,' she stuttered nodding.

'So…' he said massaging his temples, 'the Weasley girl and her mother know?'

'They don't believe it. Who would in any case? That is perhaps our safety net,' she replied getting red.

He acquiesced and resisted the urge to look at her, because his irritation would have been visible. And worst of all, he shouldn't feel irritated at all! It was more than idiotic to think the situation _wasn't _unbelievable. Of course no one believed such monstrosity.

'I'm sorry…Sir,' she mumbled somewhat dejected.

'It wasn't your fault,' he said rolling his eyes.

'Yes. Yes it was,' she said swallowing hard. She made a pause to let the words sink in.

'It's not like… I mean… I could have… you know,' Hermione tried saying. 'I could have opposed it.'

There was a long stretch of silence. Their soft breaths could be heard.

'You could have opposed it?' he repeated.

'Yes. I could have. But I didn't. I guess I…let myself go,' Hermione said embarrassed.

'Why?' he asked.

She shook her head. 'I can't find the answer to that. Just like…you can't find the answer, Sir. And…speaking of answers, you owe me some if I recall well.'

Severus blinked mystified for a couple of seconds before opening his mouth to speak.

'Are you seriously bent on such a ridiculous thing, Granger?'

'Why would I not? You promised.'

'I do not need to tell you anything,' he added.

'This is not fair!' she began flustered.

'…because I can't tell you anything, Granger,' he continued undeterred.

'You can't tell me anything? How do you even know what I am about to ask…Sir?'

He sighed and began burning the newspaper with his wand.

'You're a daft, self-indulgent Gryffindor. You, Potter and the other Weasley are far too curious about Mr. Malfoy's situation. And you wish to inquire me, who is seemingly closest to him in the school,' he said in a deadpan voice. 'I know it all too well.'

Hermione bit her lip.

'Yes, it's true, but you must see my reasons for wishing to find out more. His behaviour is very suspicious. He has always been a Death Eater's son, but now his attitude has changed. We think he has taken the mark and he is up to no good.'

'He is indeed serving the Dark Lord,' Severus said darkly. 'That is all you shall know from me.'

'But why?!' she exclaimed not able to contain herself. 'You are a member of the Order and you are fighting against him. Why is it so hard to help us? I know you are extremely skilled in Occlumency, so Voldemort wouldn't find out, just like all the times when…'

'You speak of things which you do not understand. It is far more complicated than that,' he said patiently.

'How?' she burst out again, stepping up to him. 'Please explain Sir.'

'I have nothing to explain to the likes of you.'

'You have a lot to explain. Otherwise it would seem suspicious that you would hide information. It would seem you are helping him. It _does _seem like that,' she replied looking hard at him.

'Maybe I am. What matters is the reason behind it,' he said pushing past her.

In the heat of the moment she tried grabbing his sleeve, but he yanked himself angrily.

'Don't touch me.'

His words fell like needles on her skin. Snape saw the look in her eyes and was reminded of someone else looking at him like that…once.

_Mudblood._ He had called her Mudblood. And now another Muggleborn was in front of him, maybe just as sharp and she was giving him the same look.

'Dumbledore trusts you,' she half-whispered, 'therefore we trust you.'

'What a stupid thing to say. If that only earns your trust then I may safely say you are more than naïve,' he spat acidly.

'There are other reasons! And if you are trusted…'

'Other reasons?'

'If you are trusted you must not betray that trust,' she continued.

'I am sorry if that is one of your sacred Gryffindor principles but in war that does get you killed, Granger. You and Potter better stop believing in world peace and universal love,' he said dryly.

'At least I believe in something,' she answered staring at him upset.

He breathed hard and stepped up to her to reply, but when he found himself in front of her he had nothing to say. Maybe it was her fierce look, maybe it was the clock chiming but he was at a loss for words.

_You believe in what doesn't exist. That makes you all the weaker, _he had wanted to say, but for some reason, he decided not to injure her any further. If she wanted to believe, then he should let her. Lily had believed in so many things he had torn apart.

'Granger…' he said at length. 'Go to bed.'

Her stomach jumped as she remembered him using the same words that night, in the kitchen. Why was she alone with him? Why was she doing this? Malfoy, yes.

She had failed…

'Maybe _you_ need to trust me. So you can tell me…' she suddenly said looking lost into space.

After a minute she added, 'Sir.'

'That will not happen, Granger.'

She looked at him with wet, lost eyes and wished he could say one little thing to make her feel better. He was just standing there, probably waiting for her to leave.

'Maybe it will,' she whispered and she turned mechanically and exited the room.

* * *

Bella was twisting her hair with her wand. She would have to trim it soon. The Dark Lord loved her wavy, black hair. She caressed her green gloves and yawned as she settled herself in the tall armchair.

Kreacher's small legs were dangling in the air as he sat on the sofa.

'Go on…stupid elf,' she mumbled as she peered at the fire. 'Until now you've told me only useless things. If you want to save yourself a beating, you'd better tell me something interesting.'

The room was so silent one could actually hear the soft wind outside.

Kreacher looked down at the red carpet and made some noncommittal gestures with his hands as his nose shrank in his chest.

'Well you see…'

Bella listened to him steadily, waving her wand up and down in the air, until some words caught her attention and her shining eyes turned to him almost ecstatic.

'What did you say?'

Her mouth broke into a large grin.

'What sort of tomfoolery is this? No? You saw it with your own eyes? Humph! Veritas!' she shrieked and Kreacher was thrown to the floor in gasps of pain as he repeated what he had said.

'So it's true apparently!' she yelled amused and laughed so hard that she almost fell to the floor. Her ghastly white sharp teeth contrasted with her steamy, red mouth.

'I can't believe it! The slimy bastard, the conniving little wart…I can't believe it! Oh, this is pure gold, Kreacher, pure gold! Here we thought poor, miserable Snape was all alone when he had managed to hide a secret girlfriend all along. Oh, this is too rich.'

Kreacher bowed down humbly and muttered something under his breath.

'Will missus tell the Dark Lord?'

'Hmm…no, or maybe. I am not sure if I should disturb him with such nonsense. But it might not be such nonsense,' she said squinting her eyes. 'For now, I may keep it to myself. But that does not mean I shan't have my little fun!'

'Granger!' she exclaimed laughing. 'Snape always had a thing for Mudbloods. Finally, the git has a weakness,' she said smirking pleased. 'And I shall take great advantage of it. I'll make him sink for good.'

* * *

_**So...another poorly plotted chapter, but I tried! Tell me what you think, please. Waffels for all reviewers, thanks! **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi, everyone, this is the new chapter which I concocted after some thinking. Thanks a bunch_ Bre_ for your kind review and support and thanks everyone for reviewing and reading. This is an odd sort of fic but I tend to like it. Enjoy. **

_Chapter 3: Suspension of Logic_

_-  
_

When had she ever given him reason to trust her? She was an obstinate, proud girl that never listened to anyone. She, like Potter, rushed to judge everyone and everything, though albeit, she had more wits about her.

He didn't want to have anything to do with her. He had never wanted that. All these years he had shown perfect restraint in class when he had just wanted to twist that bushy head of hers and throw it out the window, along with her snide know-it-all answers to every one of his questions.

He had looked for absurdly hard and puzzling questions in class, but Granger, _somehow_, always managed to nail the answer. When he thought he had finally caught her not knowing something, she would in the next minute exclaim "oh, now I remember!" and she would recite the answer she knew by heart from her books. Then she would go on and on about her extracurricular studies. God, it was enough to want to shoot himself.

And when finally at the end of the class he could find some peace and rest she would push some silly extra homework or project under his nose.

So why then, if she was a torment and a massive annoyance to him, had he kissed her?

He didn't kiss women at all. He only did what he was supposed to do with them and when he was done he just didn't bother to look back and care. He just left, leaving it all behind. It was a simple necessity.

The guilt of having done this to Granger twisted his insides.

It was like instead of punishing her for tormenting him all these years with her answers he had chosen to kiss her. Maybe that was the defining punishment, the worst punishment, the punishment of silence.

Because he covered her mouth and she had nothing to say anymore.

Because her kindness, her well-intentioned actions meant nothing now. Because he didn't want her kindness or her well-intentioned help, he just wanted to be acknowledged.

In the middle of the night he was woken by terrible nightmares. He took his usual dose of sleeping draught and went back to sleep.

When he turned on his side he saw someone sleeping beside him.

It was someone who was breathing softly, curled up like a baby. She was covered by the sheets so he pulled them down and found a bushy-haired girl smiling at him. She had one of his white shirts on.

He extended his hand to see if she was real, but instead she turned into a cat and jumped on his chest. He stood still, too frightened to move. Yes, he was frightened although he didn't really know it.

The cat scratched his skin with its sharp nails and instead of blood, his wounds shed water. She scratched his face, his arms and his eyes and then when he was about to touch her she turned away and jumped out the window.

He just couldn't touch her.

He blinked several times and tried yelling, but all he could get out were silent yelps.

His eyes opened and he breathed relieved. He was awake now.

But as he looked down he saw he had some scratches on him. He had done it himself.

* * *

After five days he was called to another Death Eater meeting. He arrived early so he waited in the drawing room with several other "colleagues".

Among them he saw the woman who was a nuisance to him and to all others. Bellatrix strode to him confidently and placed herself in his close vicinity so that their exchange wouldn't be heard.

'Good evening, _Severus_.'

'What do you want?'

'Nothing much. I just wanted to inform you I know about your little whore. That is all.'

'I beg your pardon?'

'Oh, don't tell me you don't know! The mudblood who's been satisfying your needs. The little wench you kissed.'

Severus managed to keep his calm as he stared at her pointedly.

'I know nothing of these abominations you speak of.'

'Oh, you don't have to fake ignorance. Kreacher told me all about it, no need to hide now. I wonder how the Dark Lord will take it. I mean, personal life is personal life Severus, but Granger? Really now? Is there no better?'

'Get out of my sight, Lestrange,' he muttered. 'I don't need your pathetic accusations.'

'Deny it all you want, I know it's true. I can see it in your eyes. But you know? You're right. I might be jumping to conclusions. So I'll just take care of this myself.'

Snape raised an eyebrow menacingly.

'I shall have to ask the mudblood herself. Oh I don't suppose the Dark Lord will mind if I have a little bit of fun with her.'

'If you so much as try…' Snape started.

'Ah! How sweet! You are so protective of her. This would be romantic if it weren't so disgusting.'

'My patience is wearing thin. You will not endanger Potter's friend for your amusement. It's reckless and idiotic.'

'Oh, don't you call her by her name, Severus? I mean you two probably know each other _much _better.'

_Shit, shit, shit, _that's all Severus could think. That stupid house elf, that stupid house, that stupid kiss…

'But what do you think? Should we let the Dark Lord in on our gossip? I think he'll enjoy this adventurous romance.'

'What is it that you presume I shall enjoy?'

Bellatrix yelped as she jumped from her seat on the floor in front of Voldemort. Their dispute hadn't gone unnoticed but they hadn't noticed _his_ entrance. And now he was standing in front of them, demanding some answers.

Severus was starting to sweat. He wanted to kill Bellatrix right there and then. He really wouldn't have minded using Avada Kedavra on her right about now.

'Oh, My Lord, how good of you to have come,' she said kissing his hand lovingly. 'I was just thinking you might enjoy Severus' little secret.'

Her gloating smirk drove Snape up the wall. How he'd like to twist her neck.

'And what secret is that, Severus?'

'Nothing that would interest you, Sir. There is no secret.'

'Oh, but Severus how can you be so dismissive? I'm sure the Dark Lord would like to find out more about your relations with the Mudblood.'

Voldemort's eyes glinted dangerously as he surveyed him and tried penetrating his mind.

Snape closed his mind and he tried coming up with a reasonable explanation for the woman's accusations that would pour down any moment now.

'Severus?' Voldemort demanded.

'My Lord, Bellatrix speaks without knowing anything. I have nothing to do with any Mudblood.'

'Oh, no, Snape you will not deny what Kreacher told me. My Lord, that faithful house elf - you know how he has remained loyal to our cause - has seen the _warmth _with which Snape here treats Miss Granger. He has been quite intimate with her.'

'That old battered house elf is a traitor,' Snape said firmly. 'My Lord, I assure you…'

'Bring the house elf to me, then, and we shall verify his confession,' he spoke harshly.

'My Lord, I have used Veritas on him and indeed, he saw Severus Snape kissing none other than Granger.'

'Is that so?' Voldemort asked slightly amused, though clearly angry. 'How interesting, indeed, Snape. She is Potter's best friend. Isn't she twenty years younger than you? How interesting.'

'I could contact Kreacher right away,' Bellatrix offered humbly, smirking at Severus.

_Let's see you get out of this one. Now you are going to fall from your precious position._

Severus' mind was reeling. He could keep on denying the bloody thing, but he sensed that the Dark Lord, in his infinite cautiousness and suspicion would believe the words of that stupid elf and doubt Severus' actions.

And then, as if struck by lightning, the answer came to him quickly.

Before he knew what he was saying he opened his mouth.

'There is no need. I am indeed involved with Miss Granger in other ways than scholastic.'

Bella's mouth gaped to the floor.

_He wouldn't really, he wouldn't really admit it! Oh this is even better!_

'It started some time ago. She found herself inadvertently drawn to me. And I did not discourage her. I expressed my wish to help her and Potter whenever needed. Potter does not trust me, but she does. And she tells me _everything_,' Snape finished a gruesome smile harbouring his lips.

Bella shrunk back disgusted and shocked. The lengths this man would go to keep his position, the lengths he would go to keep his reputation. Killing Mudbloods was one thing but engaging in relationships with them?! That was more than she could take.

'You do not actually believe him, do you My Lord?'

'It is much more believable indeed if I derived pleasure from Granger's presence on a regular basis,' he drawled sarcastically. 'How do you think My Lord, I am so well informed? Dumbledore may trust me but I am not such a favourite. Other idiots there are suspicious of me. Granger, however…'

Voldemort looked at him almost admiringly.

'And you concocted this plan yourself, Severus?'

'Not quite. I did not plan to take advantage of her. I wanted nothing to do with her. But when I saw that she was willing to trust me, what logical action could I take, My Lord?'

'I see.'

'No one knows of our little affair. That is why I keep it a secret,' he said glaring intently at Bella. 'I did not tell you since I thought it unnecessary for you to know the sources of my information, My Lord.'

'That was a mistake on your part, Severus. I will not overlook it. You must tell me everything. Otherwise, it may look…highly incriminating,' he said smiling ironically. 'How did this begin?'

'She was drawn to me intellectually at first,' Severus replied. 'Apparently Weasley and Potter could not satisfy her. She is ridiculously pedantic, but undeniably intelligent, as you know My Lord,' he said smoothly.

'And you of course did not deny yourself the pleasure of corrupting a sixteen year old?'

'I believe other colleagues of mine indulge in far more unorthodox practices,' he countered.

'And the Order suspects nothing?'

'If some do, they have no evidence. The night that house elf saw us was a reckless occasion on my part which will not be repeated. But other than that I am seen as a respectable wizard. She is seen as my student.'

'I must admit, this is a very interesting possibility for us, Severus. Well done. But,' he said and stopped menacingly, 'if I find out you have lied to me or tried to fool me you shall stand the very grave consequences of these…actions. And I shall have no mercy. Not on you or your little wench. I assure you.'

'Perfectly understood, My Lord. Now Bellatrix if you have anything to add…' Severus drawled, pleased with himself.

'You haven't fooled me,' she whispered through her teeth glaring at him hatefully.

'Oh and Severus? I want to see the results of this little affair of yours,' Voldemort added.

After a moment of thinking he smiled pleased.

'It would be very amusing if our little Granger decided to turn against her friends. Perhaps Severus you could manage that. She would be a very prized pawn against Potter.'

'I doubt she would be convinced, My Lord. She is very loyal to them.'

'Yes, but not enough to stop her from coming to you, apparently,' Voldemort countered. 'If she feels her_ friends _cannot understand her, if she keeps this secret willingly, then she might need different sort of people to be her friends.'

Snape nodded, uneasy and unconvinced. He hoped this small detail would be forgotten and never mentioned.

After that incident the meeting started and it was not brought up again.

That night, Severus came home with a terrible headache but a small relief.

At least that bloody kiss was now covered up. But for how long?

He couldn't really see the extent of his little lie, not yet. He couldn't know what the Dark Lord thought. He hoped he wouldn't have to resort to such lies again.

He snorted as he sat down at his desk.

Granger, his secret lover. It sounded very stupid, didn't it?

And Voldemort believed it. What a sick, sick man.

But at least he had been believed. And everything would be fairly normal, wouldn't it?

And if it wouldn't? Well, it was not his fault. What else could he have done?

He could have denied it. It would have been enough, perhaps. But not enough for the Dark Lord. No, he needed twisted reasons, like this one.

He had picked this particular reason. Because if he strove hard enough, he could imagine it. He could imagine Granger coming up to him and just asking him to understand her.

Huh, imagine if it actually happened.

But he would never touch her.

Yet he had.

And still…why?


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, this is the new chapter I wrote in a bout of strange inspiration. I would also like to add the story doesn't follow canon. Well, that was obvious but I mean some events will be changed. In this chapter, it's not Harry who sees Draco in the second floor bathroom. Anyway, thanks all readers and reviewers! You guys rock! I hope you like this inexplicable chapter. Enjoy!**

_Chapter 4: The Other Woman_

_-  
_

It's true that he usually told the Order everything, but now was a good time to start hiding some things. He had played by the rules for a while now and he was getting pretty tired of it. No, this was personal information he would keep for himself. No one would mind. Too much.

Would things get out of control?

If they did, he was the man in charge of them and he would solve them, one way or another.

The last person who needed to know about this was Granger.

And no, he didn't owe her an explanation. Just as simple as that.

But there was the matter of Bellatrix. How would he shut _her_ up?

Killing her wouldn't be effective and it would only piss off Voldemort. The stupid woman was probably jealous of Voldemort's esteem for him.

_You can have him, you foul tart, I don't want him!  
_But no, she was determined to bring him down, no matter what. And he was not scared; he was merely irritated because she was prone to annoying impulsive streaks. During those impulsive streaks she would kill off an Order member or two.

And he really didn't need that on his case.

He already had enough of her sister, Narcissa to whom he had promised Draco's protection. Which was another bowl of cherries in his life. Dealing with that unstable teenager was just more trouble, but he knew Draco and he knew he was up to big things that he didn't understand. And he knew he should be there to carry the weight.

He always did that. Sometimes he wondered why he had bothered being a wizard at all, since obviously, the perks of that were unknown to him as of yet.

All he ever did was struggle and when he wasn't struggling he was having a hard time actually adjusting to the outer world.

He had a clear memory of Dumbledore talking to him one night, asking him to do something insanely and idiotically outrageous.

As if Draco couldn't be handled another way!

_He is completely off his head if he means to die!_

Out of all of Dumbledore's ideas this had been the one to make him consider retiring and hiding in the mountains with the giants. At least they would have more logic.

He really didn't want to get involved in these horrible, little schemes.

Also, though never, even on death penalty ever admitted by Severus Snape, he had grown attached to the genius wizard with blue twinkling eyes and being the means of the end of that same man for Draco Malfoy's benefit was just too much to bear.

He really didn't know how he went on through the day, going to classes, sleeping eating, all the usual things.

It certainly wasn't hope that guided him.

* * *

Hermione liked being a Prefect because this allowed her to roam the castle freely. She had wanted to do this since her first copy of _Hogwarts: A History_, and she was finding it very hard to restrain herself from peeping here and there, or meddling into other people's business.

Especially since she, Harry and Ron had a dead hunch that Malfoy was up to no good. This hunch was based on Harry's assumptions and continuous observations and also a series of murder attempts at school. So they didn't want to risk it.

Unravelling Draco's plan was also important because he was a Death Eater now so she didn't think he was sneaking Fire Whiskey in the school or something as juvenile as that. No, he was dealing with poison and dark necklaces.

She was patrolling with Terry Boot tonight, but he had caught a Forth Year vomiting in a cupboard and went to find Fred and George so Hermione had ample time to sneak around and try to find traces of that infamous Slytherin.

What she wasn't expecting to find was Malfoy crying by a sink in the second floor bathroom. Sure, they all saw Draco as a big pansy but never had they seen him show his emotions like that. Not for the public display.

He looked downright desperate and unhinged. And Moaning Myrtle was apparently comforting him. Well, this was probably the oddest friend Malfoy could get.

She tried approaching soundlessly, but Draco sensed her presence and turned around flabbergasted.

'Granger,' he spat. 'Get out.'

'You're in a girls' bathroom, Malfoy.'

'Don't talk to me, Mudblood. Just get out of the way,' he said roughly.

'No. Not until you explain this outing of yours after hours and in_ this_ bathroom,' she said firmly, trying to avert her gaze from his wet face.

'Are you seriously doing this? I am going to hurt you if you stand in my way.'

'Don't act so immature Malfoy. I have a wand. Tell me why you were crying.'

'I don't have to tell you anything you daft tart!' he bellowed as he cast Expeliarmus but she blocked it in time and stood her ground.

'I am not duelling you right now, Granger,' he said almost pleadingly. 'So mind getting out of the bloody way?'

'Draco,' she suddenly said gently, 'we can help you. You just have to tell us what's wrong. You've been acting very strange.'

'You do not call me by my first name,' he said weakly. 'No one gives you that right. And you can keep your observations to yourself, there is nothing wrong with me. On that point, you should mind your own stupid business.'

'Oh? Is that why you were crying in a bathroom? I thought Malfoys don't cry.'

'Enough!' he shouted and threw a hex at her that she blocked yet again, but this was one was stronger and pushed her back a bit.

'Stop doing that already! You said you didn't want to duel.'

'I want you to leave me alone and go to the library or whatever you do,' he said angrily.

'Having me as your enemy now is not a smart move, Malfoy.'

'Oh really? Is that so? I'll just take my chances,' he said mockingly.

'You have to tell me…'

'Petrificus Totalus!'

She fell lifelessly on the floor her eyes wide and her mouth open.

'What is the meaning of this?' a rough voice echoed around the walls.

Draco looked up frightened and saw it was Snape standing in the doorway, looking as intimidating as his own father.

He walked up to Hermione's still form and looked down at her surprised face. Her hair, which was strewn around her dramatically, was becoming damper by the minute.

'I was just leaving…' Malfoy started, but out of the blue, Snape grabbed his collar and pulled him.

'I don't care how tormented you are Mr. Malfoy that this Death Eater business is not going as well as you planned but you shall not harm any of _my_ students! Is that clear?'

'I did not harm her! I just wanted her out of the way!'

'Is that why Granger is currently paralyzed? You stupid idiot should know better than that.'

Malfoy drew back cautiously. His tears were dry now, but he was beginning to doubt that Snape really wanted to help him. He looked downright livid by now. And it was only Granger.

'It's not just Granger, Malfoy!' he hollered. Malfoy looked up surprised and realised that he had entered his mind. He closed it shut. 'If anyone else found out you'd be out of this school!'

'I put a Silencing charm on the room when she came in,' Draco said sourly looking down at Hermione. 'I don't think anyone heard me. You were just looking for me.'

'I sensed the charm you idiot!' Snape snapped.

'I never meant for it to be this way,' he said angrily. 'She was just sticking her nose…'

'Sticking her nose in what? You were sitting here, crying, obviously,' Snape said looking him up and down. 'A normal person would wonder, you fool.'

'I had lost some control…' he confessed painfully, looking away.

'Never mind now. Go to your dorm and stay there. Go now!'

Malfoy thought he should protest but seeing the black stare his Head of House was giving him he went out without another word.

Snape sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He rarely did that in public, but it was a nervous tic of his.

He looked down at Hermione.

'You again. What is it with you?'

Her surprised face almost seemed to answer him. He just shook his head.

'Finite Incantatem!'

Normally, this would enable Hermione to move again and get up but nothing happened. He looked down at her quizzically.

_Oh, Merlin no. That prick Malfoy probably learned this trick from his aunt of course. Petrificus Totalus with a pint of Dark Magic. I hate that bloody family and their bloody affiliations._

But talking to himself wouldn't solve the problem. No, this was probably the case for a potion of his.

He could go back to his office and search a bit through his material, but leaving her here was probably not a good idea. Even if he did lock the bathroom there was the issue of Moaning Myrtle who had apparently disappeared for the moment, but he knew that annoying ghost would turn up eventually.

_That means I have to take her with me. _

He knelt and placed a hand around her waist and head, intending to pick her up from the cold floor. She was very light. Not inordinately light but she was considerably light. Her clothes were wet and damp because there was water on the floor. He wrinkled his nose.

But there was also a scent around her hair. Violets? Probably shampoo. He found it even more irritating. He liked inodorous things.

He cradled her as best as he could, seeing as she was as rigid as a board, and pulled his robe over her. Levitating her was not a possibility so here it was, out in the open, Severus Snape carrying Hermione like a piece of meat. At least now she was playing the part of the mistress. An unconscious one.

The benefits of having a large robe and a considerably scrawny girl in his arms were not appreciated at the moment.

He would cast a strong hex on anyone who would cross his path. He wasn't in a good mood.

* * *

After a laborious journey, he finally managed to place her on a conjured couch in his office.

'You know I do not like you,' he said matter-of-factly. 'Why I have to help you right now is beyond me.'

He opened the secret door and went into his personal study. He only came out after almost half an hour.

'Those daft idiots you call friends are probably worried about you,' he muttered kneeling in front of her with a bottle of syrup in his hand.

'You probably don't know what this is, Granger, or do you?' he asked staring at her still form. Her eyes shone expectantly.

He smirked. 'Well, even if you do know, you can't talk, thank God. Finally, after all these years, you shut up.'

Her eyes looked more and more incredulous.

'I am beginning to like this state of yours actually.'

Now her eyes were darker than usual.

'Getting angry I assume? Oh, don't worry, I don't enjoy having you in my office,' he said rolling his eyes.

He pulled her chin and tried slipping the syrup in.

While her mouth was slightly open it was covered by her large teeth and he couldn't slip the liquid in without wasting some. And it was _not_ to be wasted.

'I cannot believe I am saying this, but I actually wish you could have said what you wanted to back there, Granger. This way I could make you drink this.'

He took out his wand, but her eyes shot daggers at him.

'What? How do you expect me to open it wider?' he asked annoyed.

He tried a spell but her eyes almost closed in pain as a small red point appeared at the corner of her mouth.

'Well, I guess that was a miss. Don't throw a fit, Granger, it will not show.'

The wand was a bad idea. He'd better do it manually.

Oh, he hated the world.

'I need you to be very still, Granger,' he told her warily. But then he looked up and chuckled amused. 'Oh, I forgot you couldn't move.' Hermione's eyes instantly showed alarm. She really didn't like his idea.

'Do you want me to rip out your entire jaw?' he asked irritated.

He took her cheeks in his hands.

'I am enjoying this moment just as much as you are, Granger,' he mumbled, struggling to push her teeth without breaking any bones.

He managed to find a small hole through which he poured the syrup.

'That should be taken care of,' he said looking at her pensively. 'You will recover in some moments, I assume.'

Her fingers were starting to move. Her hands were positioned upwards as if trying to calm down a furious horse. One of her legs was drawn forward.

'So, have you guessed the name of this concoction?' he asked pleased. He knew it was late and probably that ginger ale he had indulged with was not helping but he had to admit with all his troubles, he enjoyed making her suffer. He didn't want to think about how he would deal with Malfoy right now. He had Granger to fix first.

'I suppose not,' he mumbled amused.

Her arms were starting to move and so was her entire body.

But the first thing that he registered was that her voice was back and without any preparation for it, his ears were suddenly attacked by a shriek as loud as that of a Dementor.

'It's Hellebore with a bit of mint and dragon's blood!' she shouted with all her strength and because she was barely standing on the couch and her body was positioned in a ridiculous way she fell right into him, on the floor.

'It's…' she panted, 'Hellebore…and…and mint…and…'

'Yes, I heard you Granger! God damn it, do you have to repeat it?' he said darkly as her hands landed on his chest and her legs on his.

'It was very cruel of you…' she started, but her sentence was lost when she saw he was so close. He pushed her off as best as he could but she was still a little numb so that proved to be difficult as well.

He was practically growling as he rose rigidly and took a few steps.

Hermione mostly crawled back to the couch and waited for the syrup to take effect.

'I am…sorry,' she managed to say.

'Save your excuses. Here,' he said handing her a handkerchief. She wiped her mouth hard and put it down in her lap.

'Well, my evening is quite ruined,' Severus concluded looking away.

'I did not intend to ruin anything. Malfoy was the one who…'

'Yes, yes, you saw a person suffering, you just had to help, _Miss _Granger. All that Gryffindor kindness and bravery were put to good use.'

'Excuse me?! Am I the problem at hand? Malfoy just cursed me like I was a puppet to him and you are angry with me?! Sir?' she added after a moment.

'Malfoy will get his share, Miss Granger, I assure you. In the meanwhile, I suggest you go back to your common room and stay there.'

'Malfoy is doing something very stupid, isn't he? And you aren't doing a great job at stopping him,' she said.

'What do you mean by that, Granger?' he spat.

'He is going to get away with this, isn't he? Tell me he won't.'

He looked away frustrated.

'I'd like to hex him too Granger. But getting him expelled would not prevent him from doing whatever it is that he is doing. It would be worse because he would not be under _my_ supervision.'

'So you really do not know what he is doing…Sir?'

'I wonder Granger if those stellar grades of yours aren't a mirage. You are surely not very bright.'

Hermione folded her hands and glared at him sideways.

'All I know is that you are trying to help him. Harry told me so.'

'Potter?'

'Yes… he, he saw you.' She wasn't sure if she should be saying this. But she had nothing to lose now.

'So we know.'

'You know…' he mocked her. 'As long as _you_ know, this school is safe isn't it?'

'I'm just trying to help. Just like you.'

She got up shakily and handed him back the handkerchief.

'Thank you.'

It was stained with her blood.

'Keep it,' he said roughly. 'I don't need it.'

There was an awkward pause in which they stared at each other.

'Fine,' she mumbled eventually and put it in her pocket.

'You're trying to find out what Malfoy is doing,' she said matter-of-factly.

He didn't nod or shake his head, he just looked at the pocket where she put the handkerchief.

'Whatever he is doing, he is after Dumbledore. Murder attempts. All those odd coincidences aren't coincidences,' she muttered darkly.

'Granger, it's perfectly unreasonable to accuse Malfoy like that…'

'He is the only one acting like he did all those things,' she said firmly. 'I've told Harry myself maybe we should not be quick to judge but who else would do this?'

Snape turned around and sat down at his desk, a gesture that meant she should leave.

'And if it really is Malfoy who is responsible, _you_ should have tried to stop him. Sir.'

'That's it. That's the last I shall hear of you. Get out of my office Miss Granger.'

'I've heard the phrase before and look what happened with Malfoy,' she said bravely.

'You are really pushing it.'

'Then tell me, explain to me…'

The fire in the fireplace suddenly cracked and someone whispered a very strange word she had never heard before. It sounded like someone coughing up blood.

It was a password of some sort because some magical barriers opened and a head appeared in the fire.

It was a woman with dark red hair and blue eyes. Hermione had never seen her before. Nor had Severus. But he recognized her right away. It was Bellatrix in one of her disguises again.

'Oh. Well,' she stopped dead upon seeing the scene. 'I apologise to have interrupted. I thought what with being past midnight no one would be in this room. Silly me, of course your little girl would be.'

Severus groaned internally.

_This is a bloody mess._

'But really now Severus, the barriers showed no person in the room but you,' Bellatrix drawled, 'how did you get past that? Oh, you must have worked hard for your little lover.'

The fact was that Hermione being petrified for a while had allowed her presence not to be noted in the room.

Right about now, the girl in question was shooting Severus a couple of puzzled glances.

'What do you want? I'm busy.'

'I can see that. Well, you have your little guest here. I assume we can't talk now,' she said devilishly.

_You are endangering my position,_ he shouted mentally towards Bellatrix but she just smiled.

_As intended Severus, as intended._

'What is going on?' Hermione asked as quietly as possible. Her eyes peering at the strange woman. 'Who is she?'

'Oh, darling, I'm the other woman he goes to. Sorry to say you aren't the only one on the menu,' she said casually.

Severus got up and took Hermione by the hand.

'I'd better take you somewhere else. She is a bother.'

'No! What is the meaning of this?'

'Oh, jealous dearie?' Bellatrix asked laughing. 'Severus you really should have told her you were seeing me tonight as well. Your lover is terribly upset with me now.'

'Why is she cal…' Hermione started saying, but Severus decided these were desperate times that needed desperate actions so he pulled her to himself and kissed her, yet again.

_Don't struggle, don't struggle,_ he mentally told her. _And don't say a word. _

He crushed his lips rather unceremoniously over hers and waited.

Hermione was too shocked to move yet again so she just let him put his hand over her waist.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes disgusted.

When he parted Severus spoke loud enough for her to hear.

'Ignore her. She is a woman in my past. She doesn't belong with me anymore.'

'Ha!' Bellatrix laughed. 'Woman in your_ past_! You two disgust me.'

'Leave. I'm busy,' he muttered angrily to her and pulled Hermione in his bedroom shutting the door.

There was no light in the room. He could hear Hermione's hard breathing.

'Can…' she began but he shushed her.

After five minutes the barriers were put up again and he relaxed, somewhat.

'Severus,' she said clearly.

Hearing her use his name snapped him out of his thoughts.

'Could you…_please_…explain?' she stuttered weakly.

They were standing there in the dark, quite close and he was beginning to think petrifying her again was a good idea.

'I…it's a long story,' he mumbled. 'Safe to say, that was Bellatrix.'

Hermione gasped and put her hands to her mouth.

Severus had decided _not _to tell her. But now…now it couldn't be avoided.

_God damn it Lestrange!_

He reluctantly told her the gist of his lie to Voldemort after which he settled in an awkward silence.

'And…you n-never thought of telling me?'

'I was handling it, Granger.'

'Oh, I see you were handling it. You just kissed me again!'

'Well, what was I supposed to do, Granger?! Put a hand over your mouth? Do you think I feel very clean right now? This is the second time this has happened.'

Hermione's shoulders sagged.

'Right…second time. I'm going to end up kissing you more than I kissed Krum,' she mumbled to herself. And then she laughed like mad at her own sentence.

'What in the world are you laughing at?'

'Nothing. I'm laughing because this is insane!'

'Thank you for clearing that up,' he retorted coldly.

'Voldemort now thinks I'm your little slave. And it's all because of that stupid house elf!'

'I thought you supported those creatures,' he said rather surprised at her outburst.

'I...do. But not this one,' she said, surprised herself that Severus knew this about her.

'No, this one is a problem.'

'And you feel unclean? How should that make me feel?' she asked, feeling insulted all of a sudden.

He kept silent.

'Did you mean it because I'm Muggleborn?!'

'Are you mad? Of course not!' he said thinking of Lily. 'But I do not enjoy touching you, Granger.'

'I do not enjoy touching you either, Snape. And yet it happened again.'

'Mind your attitude there, Granger. I'm not your drinking buddy so you can address me as you like.'

'No, but apparently I'm your mistress from hell!' she bellowed and he bade her keep quiet.

'So…what is your big plan now?' she asked annoyed.

'My big plan?'

'Obviously.'

'It would involve you leaving my quarters as soon as possible so I can fix this bloody mess. Luckily, Bellatrix didn't notice anything. I hope.'

'Just like that?! We are not going to talk about it?'

'We already talked about it. What more do you want?!'

She sighed and looked around her. She was adjusting to the darkness. She had been right. The room was filled with books.

'There's Malfoy, there's Bellatrix and now there's an affair between us,' she enumerated dryly.

'Yes. The world of magic,' he replied dryly as well.

She started walking towards the door, stumbling a little when she noticed something.

'I knew I had a strange taste in my mouth. You added an ailing draught too.'

'What?'

'In the syrup. You added an ailing draught. To work as a painkiller.'

'It was necessary.'

'Not to the composition. You didn't want me to feel pain,' she said blandly.

'Nothing escapes your radar,' he muttered annoyed.

'Thanks…' she said unsure of how to feel.

'Are you leaving?'

'I am. But tomorrow…'

'Tomorrow is a different thing,' he said tiredly.

'Right…of course.'


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, I've written the new chapter. After some major writer's block I managed to write this in about four days. I hope you like it. Thanks to all reviewers, I really appreciate the support:) Oh and thanks to all anonymous reviewers too, too bad I can't see your profiles, but that's okay. Enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think!**

_Chapter 5: The fruit of Love_

-

He had read this stupid article once on "Dirty Secrets of Esteemed Wizards". It had been a load of trash, but looking back on it, he was sure he could make top five, because right now he was drugged.

The word is applied a bit harshly, perhaps but he had taken a very powerful sleeping potion that instead of actually making him sleep had put him in this drowsy but awake state. Somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness.

He now had the senses of a blind man. His hearing had improved. He could hear every little toilet flush in the bathroom down the hall. He could hear termites gnawing into his wood. He could wear the students talking stupid things instead of sleeping.

He was in a place that no one could reach him. Unless they took the same stuff as he did. And as he lay there on the bed, he felt a strange presence next to him: a kind of breeze he was used to.

'Hi.'

'Oh, Lily. You,' he barely spoke.

'Yes, I came to see you again. I thought it was about time. You're not doing too well I see.'

'I'm having my favourite hallucination,' he answered smiling.

'Polite as always.'

'I never forget my manners.'

'But you forgot to put your shirt on. You've got the pyjama pants but the top is just thrown over you. Have you noticed that?' she said sitting on her elbow. She was wearing her old school uniform.

'I just crawled into bed and stopped dressing midway. Excuse my bland language, I'm in no mood to be myself,' he answered aloof.

'Oh, don't worry about me. We're old pals. I've seen you in ten other embarrassing situations. So, is there something you want to talk about?'

'I can barely move my mouth.'

'Well, whenever you have a vision of me you usually have a pressing matter that you need to discuss with a friend.'

'Right now I'd like to sleep, Lily.'

'Well, I do feel like chatting. I must say I was rather shocked when you kissed that girl, Hermione. She's my son's best friend, isn't she?'

'You're a lot more subtle in real life,' he muttered.

'Anyway…that was very odd, even for you. Whatever made you do it?'

Oh, brother. Even his hallucination was taxing him. Yes, he had made a mistake, he had let his guard down and went for some human contact with a minor, enough already, he understood!

'I see…you just broke down a bit. Christmas time was always sad for you, I remember. You just couldn't take it,' she said slightly sad.

'But you should have thought twice about the comfort you'd choose.'

'I don't need you to tell me that.'

'Apparently I do. And you kissed her again.'

'You will not make me talk, no matter how hard you try,' he insisted.

'You're thinking you couldn't have prevented that, but you're trying to forget everything and turn it into another hallucination. It actually happened. And you feel pretty bad now that you ruined a young girl.'

'Are you done?' he said, sounding in pain.

'Well…no. You know you didn't hurt her that much.'

'Huh. Coming from you…' he started.

'No, really. Listen, I don't think you did the right thing, but you saved the situation. Yes, sometimes that is called saving. You should have avoided the situation from the beginning by not going for that sixteen year old, but in the end it couldn't be helped. Bellatrix was a real bitch. It wasn't your fault that you tried to cover up the story.'

He shook his head oblivious.

'But Severus, you need to stay away from Granger. And I'm not saying _for a while_. Maybe it would be better if you two stayed out of each other's way_ permanently_. She'll be your student and only that and she's only got one more year to go. Just don't get caught up in her life. You have _yours_ to worry about.'

Lily smiled gracefully and pushed some of his locks back. It felt like a ghost touching him.

'So what you're telling me is to be a selfish bastard?'

'No. Just a selfish person. It will help her too,' she said smiling again.

'I'll stay away from her, don't worry.'

'But if you don't, remember what I said. She'll bring trouble. And you already have that.'

After a couple of minutes he opened his eyes and looked at her. She was still there.

'So…you want to know how your son is doing?'

'I know how he's doing.'

'Then why are you still here?'

'Making sure you fall asleep.'

* * *

Wednesday night Lucius was pouting in his office, turning over some silly pink invitations Narcissa was making him sign. Something about their wedding anniversary. He couldn't care less. But he had to maintain that good husband who loves his trophy wife reputation.

Huh, eighteen years of marriage. Well, that was more or less the number of mistresses he had had until now. Considering other Death Eater husbands out there, this was as close to faithfulness as you got.

Narcissa wasn't complaining. The woman knew for sure that these men were foul and cruel but she wanted to think her husband was an exception and that he only loved and adored her. He was a clean-cut classy Death Eater that read poetry and brought her expensive gifts, of course he_ had_ to be different.

But let's get back to Lucius pouting. Or rather grimacing. The one thing he didn't expect or need was to have sister-in-law Bella drop by.

She just popped up in his office, like that.

'I have warned you many times before. One day, I will kill you for doing that,' he said smoothly throwing the invitations away.

'Oh, stop. You know you enjoy my visits. I always bring good news.'

'I just hate it that you are my wife's sister.'

'Because it permits me access to your house?'

'That and the fact that once in a while I must converse with you.'

'Oh trust me, Malfoy darling, I enjoy your presence as much as I enjoy eating sea crabs. Lestrange, the stupid love boy took me on a honeymoon in Australia. He thought it would be fun. You have no idea what some people eat, but I digress. I've come here for business.'

'Business? You never come just for business.'

'True. I guess you're right. Okay, I must confess. I was bored. Lestrange wanted to get all warm and fuzzy with me before going to bed. And there was no good book around and no muggle raid tonight, therefore…'

She looked at the furniture in his office.

'New I suppose?'

'Yes. Narcissa's idea.'

'I hate my sister's style. Everything looks so stiff and pompous,' she complained leaning against the mantelpiece. 'Well, I guess I'll have to make myself comfortable.'

She conjured an ottoman and she spread her entire body on it, but in a graceful, charming way that Lucius had to admire.

'So you're busy?' she asked darting her eyes towards the invitations.

'Just a ball we're throwing.'

'Oh, right, Narcissa told me. Fifty years of marriage or something. I must say you do keep young. How do you manage it?'

'I'm sure I should ask you the same question,' he snapped, a little bit annoyed by her comment. He treasured his looks just as much as his wife did.

'Oh, stop being so worried. You always look dashing, brother-in-law. Am I invited to this soiree?'

'Not unless you save us the pleasure of your presence.'

'I do admit these things make me vomit, but I like feeling nauseous now and again. It reminds me that some things in this world never change. Like my sister's lack of intelligence. And that is very reassuring, I tell you.'

'As much as I love idle talk Bella, why don't you tell me what you want to say? I wish to go to bed soon.'

'Already throwing me out. Fine, fine. Well, I don't know if I am supposed to say this, but I see no reason for this information to be kept secret from you. I thought I'd share my view on it and then I could get your opinion.'

Lucius was now quite alert.

'Good, I caught your attention. Well, darling, you'll never believe this, but the old fart is actually getting some.'

'Wormtail?' he asked incredulous.

Bellatrix slapped her face laughing.

'You and Narcissa are made for each other. Let me rephrase. The old greasy fart.'

'Ah, Severus.'

'Very good.'

'Severus has a mistress? Well, surprisingly enough, I did expect that. He looks the type.'

'And acts like one if you ask me. But that's not the juicy part. Now, hold your breath darling for what's following. Guess who his mistress is.'

Parkinson and the like?'

'See, you're thinking small. Snape's tastes are actually much more twisted. But he_ is_ having fun with a student.'

'Do you want me to name them all?'

'Come on. When I say Hogwarts, Gryffindor, what's the first obnoxious name that comes to mind after Potter?'

'Granger.'

'Exactly.'

Then there was a pause in which Lucius' mind opened and shut several times.

'What?! You must be joking.'

'Yes, that was my reaction too.'

'There is no way that mudblood is sharing anything intimate with that soily bastard.'

'Well, that's not really the Death Eater talking in you. We all like to go wild once in a while. What am I saying? We always go wild.'

'Yes, but not like this! What the fuck is he doing? This can't be true.'

Lucius was a very specific man in private. Very different from his cooler self that he showed on the outside.

'Myes, I'd say that too. I still don't believe it. Although evidence has proven to be uncanny.'

'Evidence? There is evidence?'

'Well, no pictures or dirty lingerie if that is on your mind. This is not Sirius Black we're talking about. Oh, yes, Merlin rest his soul. No, we're talking about Severus Snape. You know that house-elf that's such a joke even to house-elves?'

'Kreacher?'

'Right. Well, when he came to report some days ago he said, most nonchalantly, might I add, that he saw Granger and Severus snogging in the kitchen of that stupid hideout of theirs. It's funny when you think that he can't tell me the location because of those silly charms but he can tell me these other things. Imagine what other people are doing there.'

'Snogging in a kitchen?! Wasn't he seeing things?'

'I checked. He was telling the truth. Worst part is, Severus actually confessed to the Dark Lord and he believed it.'

'He did,' Lucius said flatly. 'Well, now I know I am working for the wrong man.'

Bella cast a small hex towards him which he deflected.

'Don't even joke about that. I have to admit, Snape found 'good reasons' for this apparent affair. You know how those pricks at Hogwarts think he's the new Saint Mungo? Well, Granger apparently sought his help because she was having problems and her other mudblood boyfriends didn't satisfy her. She wanted an intellectual. A brave man like him. Hahaahaha. So according to him, he just took advantage of her.'

'But that's not the weasel Snape we know.'

'Exactly. Something sounds rotten in this story. So I went to talk to old bat. Actually I wanted to check. I felt a strange presence in his office before I used the fireplace and I was bloody right. Granger was in his office and they were having this heated debate.'

'You don't say…'

'Yes…I'm thirsty. Is this any way to treat your relatives?'

'Get your own whiskey,' he muttered.

She used Acio on his globe and opened it, pulling out a decanter.

'Right, so where was I?'

'Granger doing something fiery with Snape.'

'Right!' she smiled slyly. 'Well, I played my prostitute card again. And no, Lucius, this time I actually did it well. You should have seen me. Well, she was shocked or furious, I couldn't tell and I couldn't read her mind either because Snape was blocking me with stupid 'go away' shouts. He kissed her which was _completely_ disgusting and then they took off to his bedroom. God knows doing what.'

'God, this is worse than Nott's homosexual streaks.'

'Nott's a fag?' Bella inquired surprised. 'That's something you don't hear every day.'

'I just found out myself. He keeps a Spanish boy…nevermind, not the right time. As you were saying, Snape has gone off his bonkers and is seducing Granger.'

'Well, I don't buy it, _mon petit chien_. I just don't.'

'Call me dog again and you'll suffer.'

'Ah, forgot Malfoys are all French. How could I forget that? You borrowed some of their _best_ qualities. Well, do you think it's true, Lucius? That they're actually involved?'

'Well, you said he kissed her. That could have been an act but that means Granger is in it too. But for what? Giving the greasy bat a good name?'

'The saddest part is that our Dark Lord thinks Snape could actually bring this worthless mudblood to our side. What's her use anyway? Target for practice?'

'I hope he was not serious.'

'When is he _not _serious?'

'If Snape isn't having an affair with Granger then he might be feeding her information.'

'True, but why? He usually tells Dumbledore "everything". That was the deal with the Dark Lord. And that old fool Dumbledore trusts him. So if Snape decided to betray the Dark Lord and work against us he wouldn't be sharing his plans with Granger.'

'This might turn out to be a very dangerous situation. We'd better take care of it.'

'That sounds very reassuring, _mon cher_. _Je sais que je peux avoir confiance en toi.'_

'_Je ne t'en conseillerais pas,' _he replied smoothly.

'That's very sweet of you darling, but don't worry, I can't trust you without breaking a nail. Anyway, I hope Snape goes down in flames after this.'

'I still cannot picture Granger and Snape snogging like that.'

'Well, believe it because it happened right under my eyes.'

Bella started laughing, more like cackling as she sipped from her glass.

Unfortunately for them, they weren't alone. The study was empty, but the room next to them was Lucius' storage room and Draco happened to be wondering there. He almost never went there. It was a dusty, rickety place with nothing interesting or of value. His father kept his important treasures in the cellars or in secret rooms.

He had distinctly heard the last two lines uttered by the two and had fallen back in shock.

* * *

Now, Draco is a sensitive boy. Some would call him a pansy, but he is only suffering under an oppressive family. This piece of news came as a big wake up call for him. It did not only shock him but it made him wonder as well. Snape had been very angry that night he had cursed Granger. Of course, being rather stupid, Draco couldn't see the gravity of the act, just the professor's overt reaction. And then there was this double agent thing he was pulling off. What if Granger had lured him on the good side for good?!

You're probably wondering why Draco wasn't at school. Lucius had found out about Draco's small breakdown and had invited him home for some tea and biscuits. When he got back to school, Draco sure had a lot of thinking to do.

'But he's thirty-six!' he screamed in his mind. 'And she's bloody sixteen. That's twenty years! Sure my aunt Melanie married that baron who was forty years older than her but she was a tart and he was a sick bastard. This is low even for Granger. And Snape, what a perverted old man!'

* * *

Classes went well that week for Hermione. But she felt like crap on the inside so it did not matter if classes went well. The Os she get did not make her the least bit happy. She would've happily dropped out of school.

The worst part was that she didn't and couldn't tell Harry or Ron about her predicament. And she hated when they just stood there eating at the table like everything was dandy.

But something she had noticed during lunches was that Draco was staring at her. Well, after that bathroom incident he probably wanted some form of revenge.

Did he think she didn't want to scalp him? Because she would gladly chop him into tiny pieces and serve him to the dogs. But she was trying to get over her anger. Snape had told her he'd better stay here.

She had told Harry and Ron that Snape had found Draco crying in a bathroom and that she had found out this information from the girls' bathroom. From Pansy Parkinson.

They actually believed her.

'Oh, I hate lying to them!' she thought. But she knew that if they found out the truth, Malfoy would be lying in a hospital with twenty fractures.

During her Astronomy lesson, Draco's stare intensified. As they were working in close proximity she dared raise an eyebrow.

'Yes Malfoy?' she snapped.

'I haven't forgotten that night mudblood,' he whispered. 'It was magical. The way I cursed you.'

Her blood boiled.

'I haven't forgotten it either, Malfoy. The way you whimpered like a little four-year old Slytherin princess.'

'When I get you, you will cry like one mudblood.'

'Hah! I can't wait to see that,' she said wrathfully. 'And stop calling me that imbecilic name. Can't you really come up with something new?'

'Calling you anything else than that would mean showing you respect. And considering the current events, you have no chance of making me consider you anything more than that.'

Hermione squirmed away from his disgusted glare.

'_You_ were the one who left me paralyzed there…'

'I wasn't talking about that.'

'Then what?'

'You know very well, mudblood. You know.'

'I do not have the slightest…'

'After all, your knight in shining armour appeared just before that tame of yours got too wet. But I'm betting it got wet again afterwards. By the by, how did he wake you up from that paralysis? I know I used a pretty special trick on you.'

Hermione's mouth fell to the ground. She wasn't stupid. If he was referring to what she thought he was…then she would kill him right there and then.

Her cheeks burst into flames. Her throat got filled with stones.

He couldn't…he _wouldn't_ know, would he?!

Her alarmed eyes gave her away, though she tried to control herself.

'That's what I thought. Huh. You are just like those girls you patronize. You give yourself easily, don't you? Jesus, Granger, you really don't have a life to be doing…' he started disgusted but he didn't get to finish.

She slapped him hard over the face.

Madam Sinistra ran to their spot immediately.

'What is going on here? Malfoy, are you bothering Miss Granger?'

'Of course, I'm always the bad guy,' he said touching his red cheek. 'She's always the martyr. This is the second time Granger. Last time it was a punch. I need to pay you back these gifts you're handing out for free. Some day.'

He was made to leave the class and Hermione received detention.

* * *

She was crying her heart out in an empty class and it was past midnight, again. She wiped the tears but they came back again and she wiped them more vigorously. At one point she felt she had no more tears but they sprang up again.

She felt ashamed and unclean, even though she was innocent of any accusation Draco might launch, because she had only kissed the man. Now that she ran the thought in her mind it really didn't seem like an innocent thing. There was a reason for her guilt. Surely, it wasn't just Malfoy. It was Snape and their entire charade and the fact that she hadn't told anybody because frankly she enjoyed having her tiny secret even if it involved something so shameful or scandalous. She felt guilty because it did not bother her that much that she had kissed Snape twice when it should have bothered her more than anything else in the world.

Now of course, there was the question of who knew what.

Goodness, who else knew?! Only Malfoy?! Only Slytherins?!

She was afraid of facing Harry, Ron, the school, the world.

She felt like they all knew. They all knew!

But what did they know? Something distorted. Not the truth anyway.

The minutes ticked away in a monotonous sound. Finally, Terry Boot found her crying.

'Um, Hermione?! What are you doing here? What's wrong? Why are you crying?'

'Terry…just leave me alone.'

'Hermione. It's past midnight. You shouldn't be here…'

'I'm a prefect too, I know that!'

'Yes, I know…but right now you should get some shut-eye. You look terrible. What happened?'

'Nothing. I just got a bad grade.'

'Did you get a T or something? Is it that bad?'

'Yes, very bad Terry.'

'Oh, come on, you'll get an O later and cover it up. We all have bad days.'

'Terry I won't be able to cover this.'

'Why not?'

'It's just huge…'

'Okay, clearly you need sleep. Sitting in a cold classroom in the dark is not alright. Let's get you out of here.'

She agreed at length and they walked slowly down the corridor.

'Hey, Terry, do you think I'm a good person?'

'Course I do Hermione. Why wouldn't I?'

'I don't know. I sometimes do these stupid things.'

'That doesn't mean you're not a good person.'

'I'd rather be a bad one, than a stupid one.'

'Careful now, that's a dangerous line,' he said chuckling.

'Terry, what if you're considered something bad, but you're not?'

'Well, why care about it then? There's no need to feel guilty if you know you are good deep down.'

'And if you're not sure you're good deep down?'

'Then you've got to find out what you're really inside.'

'Right…that's harder than it seems.'

'Well, you're Gryffindor aren't you? I'm sure you can do it.'

'Why are you being so nice to me anyway?' she said as he supported her tiny frame. 'I mean I was such a bitch to you at the beginning with the schedules. I drove you crazy with my round times.'

'Hey, you were never a bitch. Sure you were not the average Prefect and you were a bit bossy, but I think I got your system after a while. And I owed you some because you saved me some spare time. So that system of yours was not _all_ bad,' he said smiling sheepishly.

'Uh, thanks, I'm glad I helped someone,' she said smiling shyly.

'See? You're not such a bad person.'

'If it only took systems Terry, I'd be great at it.'

'I wish I could cheer you up somehow and make you see you're a very nice girl.'

'Thanks, but you're trying too hard,' she said laughing.

'How about this then? Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me the following weekend?'

Hermione stared at him surprised. This is the last thing she needed.

'You're asking me out?'

'Well, I don't know if romantically or anything but I figured Prefects should share a Butter-Beer from time to time, you know?'

She smiled relieved. 'Yeah, sure, why not?'

* * *

He graded some tests and wrote some observations in his diary. Those were the last things he did before going to bed, empty-headed. He had tired himself to exhaustion in order not to think too much.

Here is an excerpt from his diary which he left in a drawer by his bed.

"The hellebore is working against the moon stone powder. At least in potion number 4. It must be the frog blood that is causing a chain reaction. I will look more into it tomorrow when I have time to go through _Amphibians in Potions_.

Lily appeared in my dreams again. She advised me not to get involved with _her _anymore. I was not trying to get involved. My mind does not understand that we are thrown together, regardless of context. Now is not the time to think about this though; I will stay away from her.

She needs time to think or recoil. With some luck we will move on and forget about it, partially. And this entire sham shall be forgotten and I can carry on my other gruelling duties.

This might sound very stupid but I am slightly worried for her. She is a strong person, but this might be too much for her.

No, that's just stupid. The best way for her to recover is to go on with what she was doing before and live in the present, like I do.

Of course, I still dream of Lily. So I might not altogether live in the present…"

* * *

That night he dreamt that he was chasing a girl dressed in white.

* * *

**I bet I know who this girl is. Well, this was one of the longest chapters ever! I hope you didn't get bored along the way and that you'll keep reading this story. I've grown rather fond of it. Oh, yeah, next chapter will be called "Double Dating". **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone. The new chapter is up! I hope you enjoy it. Thanks a bunch_ Bre_ for the kind review. This chapter is a bit different. It will delve into the minds of some characters. Oh and this chapter introduces a new future couple. Thanks for the support and please review!  


* * *

**

_Such a rush to do nothing at all._

_Such a fuss to do nothing at all._

_Such a rush to do nothing at all._

_Such a rush to get nowhere at all._

_Such a fuss to do nothing at all._

_Such a rush._

Coldplay-Such a Rush _  
_

_Chapter 6: Double Dating_

_-  
_

_THE EPISODES OF A LIFE. _

'It's just you and me old man,' he said taking a drag out of his cigarette. He was sitting against the wall of the hallway. He couldn't see his face because the light bulb was burnt.

'Why is mum crying?' he asked. He heard her in the bedroom.

'Don't worry about that, she just loves you too much,' he said roughly. 'I've always told her "you love that boy too much, I love him just enough". But she doesn't listen.'

Severus pushed past him to go upstairs, but he caught his arm and pulled him back.

'Wow, wow, stranger. She wants to be alone.'

'I don't think so.'

'It doesn't matter what you think,' he said pushing him back. Severus dropped his trunk.

Severus extricated himself from him and turned into the bathroom. He shut the door and opened some cabinets. He found the razor blades. When he opened the door again, he was holding three.

'If you come any closer, I will shave off more than your beard.'

'Hahahahahaha!' he laughed, coughing. 'You wouldn't do that to a pal, would you? They don't teach you to be murderers at that damn school.'

'Oh, they teach us just that,' he said, his voice shaking.

'Well, old man, you can't take me down with those toys in your hand.'

'I'll do my best.'

His father grabbed his shoulder, but Severus scratched his jaw with one of the razors and hit him in the shins.

His father tumbled down and dragged him on the floor as well, until he was sitting on top of him. Severus struggled long and hard, aiming the razor blades at his throat but he grabbed one of them and almost cut off one of Severus' fingers.

'Let's see you take me on now, old man,' Tobias muttered panting.

'I'll hex you,' Severus almost yelled. His father's elbow almost choked him.

'You can't do that, or else they'll lock you up,' his dad answered grinning.

'I don't care!'

He took hold of the last razor blade he had and pushed it roughly into his eye. The man started screaming like mad and fell next to him with a thud.

'You son of a bitch, I'll kill you! I'll kill you! And I'll kill that stupid whore too!'

Severus ran up the stairs and burst into his mother's bedroom where she lay on the floor, all black and blue, weeping.

'Severus?'

'Mum, we have to go now. There's no time to talk. We must get out of here.'

'Severus, wait, what happened? Where is your father?'

He suddenly heard Tobias' steps on the stairs.

'Hold on to me, quickly!' he yelled and he closed his eyes and Apparated.

When he opened them again they were sitting on a green field, sprinkled with flowers of all colours.

'What is this place?' she wondered looking around.

Severus held her to him. 'Somewhere far away, I hope.'

Several months later he was standing in court for having broken the age law. He was a brilliant student with top results. They let him go.

-

He placed the flowers on his mother's tomb. The carvings were fading out. He took out his wand and renewed them.

'Eileen, I hope you are better off where you are. This place sickens me. The things they do to you in a place like this, I can't describe them.'

He knelt.

'I made a big mistake Eileen. You wouldn't be proud of me. But I had to do something. They promised me a lot of things. They even promised me they'd bring you back. I eventually found out they couldn't. And I got really mad. I stormed out of there and now they're probably out to kill me.'

He sighed.

'You shouldn't have been born. That way, I wouldn't have been born.'

He kept silent for a while.

'So now what? What should I do when they find me? Should I give in? Should I beg for their mercy?'

She didn't answer him.

'That's what I thought.'

_THE END OF EPISODES OF A LIFE.

* * *

_

Hermione walked slowly through the snow because it was five inches high and her boots weren't very useful. Terry held her arm.

Luckily, there wasn't any wind, so everything was calm and peaceful.

Harry and Ron were sitting bitterly at a table at Three Broomsticks with Lavender for company. She was wrapped around Ron's neck. Harry was looking out the window bored, waiting for others to come. Seamus and Neville would show up any minute. With some luck, Ginny would be here too.

'Why the heck would that bloke ask her out? They're just Prefects. Not best buddies. He doesn't even know her,' Ron muttered, sipping from his drink.

Lavender sighed annoyed and brushed some strands out of her face.

'Stop talking about Hermione, Ron. You too Harry. You're both such babies. She can take care of herself,' she said angrily.

'I don't care about that. It's just odd, that is,' Ron added.

'Odd that someone asked her out? You're really blind then,' she said laughing.

Terry smiled at Hermione when she almost stumbled against a rock.

'You alright there?'

'Yes... I don't like winter all that much. I'm a terrible walker in winter.'

'That's okay. You've made it to Hogsmeade,' he said.

'That's true. I don't know how I managed it. I think you carried me half-way through. So where to?'

'Well, I know this nice place, very cosy, just down the road. I thought Three Broomsticks was far too crowded anyway. We can't really talk there.'

Hermione agreed. Ron and Harry would be there. And probably most people she knew.

They stopped in front of a tiny, crammed house with a large sign above it.

_The Howling Tea-Pot, _it said. Hermione chuckled.

'Parvati told me about this place once. Apparently, the tea pots actually howl when they bring them to your table.'

'Yeah, but the tea here is excellent. Not many know that.'

Terry opened the door for her and she stepped in, taking off her woollen hat and scarf. The interior was neatly designed. Almost everything was yellow, except for the tables which were green. There was a gigantic samovar placed at the end of the room. It played quiet, jazzy songs. From a back door, a midget girl brought the howling tea-pots to each table.

Hermione noticed, slightly disappointed, that the howling was more like a choked whistle, but she liked the place either way.

They settled at a table next to the window so they could look outside.

Hermione looked around. There were only three other tables occupied: one by a man and a woman in their twenties, another by two Hufflepuffs by the looks of it and the third by…Severus Snape?

Her face went suddenly white.

What was he doing there? That couldn't be Severus Snape. He wouldn't come to a place like this. Not unless obligated.

The midget approached him smiling.

'The usual, Sir?'

He nodded, barely looking up from his newspaper.

Hermione had to contain the loud gasp that was threatening to come out. She instead pulled a menu in front of her face and tried not to get up and run away.

'So, what do you think?' Terry asked after a while, bringing her back to reality. She peered at him across the menu.

'Lovely place. I really like the atmosphere.'

'Yes, me too. It's very quiet and simple. Not like that God-awful tea shop full of pink ribbons and other nauseating stuff, what's it called?'

'Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop,' Hermione mumbled.

'That one. How can anyone have a good time there when they're constantly reminded they're sitting next to naked cherubs?'

Hermione laughed nervously, finally putting the menu down.

'Yes, Harry had to go on a date with Cho there last year. He said he had the most awful time.'

'No wonder.'

'So, have you decided what you'll have?'

Hermione hadn't even looked at the names of the brands.

'I'll have whatever you have. You come here more often so you must know what's good.'

'Well, if you're willing to trust me, how about we get us some vanilla tea?'

'Excellent,' Hermione said, smiling politely as she took a napkin from the table and started folding it in her lap.

The midget walked up to them and asked in a tiny voice:

'What will it be Terry?'

'She remembers you,' Hermione said amused.

'She remembers all faithful customers,' he said smiling. 'Some vanilla tea would be wonderful, Deena.'

'Good choice Terry,' she squeaked and left the table.

'I like her,' Hermione said faintly. She was slowly starting to relax a bit. Snape hadn't noticed them at all. He was still immersed in his paper.

'Deena looks really young, doesn't she? I don't know how she does it, because she's actually almost a hundred.'

'Wow, she must have some great facial cream.'

Terry laughed.

'So here we are,' he started.

'Um yeah,' she said nervous.

'Did I mention you look nice?'

'Oh, thanks,' she said waving her hand. 'Just some comfy clothes I put on.'

'Comfy clothes look good on you then.'

'Well, they're much better than the uniform.'

'I thought you liked that damn thing.'

'Oh, no. That's one thing I won't be made to like,' she said, glancing towards Snape from time to time.

'So, now that we're not on an official duty we can talk like friends.'

'We could talk like friends before. We just didn't have time,' Hermione observed. 'Tell me more about your childhood. You're muggle born too, aren't you?'

'Pretty much. But I didn't stay with my parents for too long. My aunt was a witch so I moved in with her after mum and dad divorced.'

'Oh, I'm…sorry to hear that.'

'Don't sweat it, I didn't like them much anyway. I love my aunt though. She taught me all I know. She's been the greatest.'

'She sounds like it. I never had an aunt. But my parents are amazing. They're so united and they never fight. It's touching to see they still love each other just as much after so many years.'

'You're lucky. You can't find couples like that anymore. People are all about success these days, they forget about family and such.'

'Yes, I guess I am,' she said smiling.

'So, what do you want to do after Hogwarts?'

'Oh, I really don't know. I can't decide.'

'What? Hermione Granger doesn't know what she'll do in the future? Impossible.'

'No, it's true. I don't know what to pick. I would like to be an Auror, but I'd also like to get in the medical field. Um, I'd like to be a Potions master too or go into research at the Magical Institute. Or maybe become a Transfiguration teacher. I'd like to work in the field of Arithmancy too…'

'Wow, sounds like you'd like to do everything.'

'No, everything is a little bit too much. But at least a quarter…See, we can do everything we put our minds to. So why settle on one thing only?'

Terry smiled.

'That's a great life philosophy. I personally would like to be a lawyer.'

'Working for the Ministry, eh?'

'It's not as bad as you think.'

'I know it isn't. In your case it might be really interesting.'

'I'm planning on being Head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement,' he said grinning. 'I know that sounds pompous, but I think I have a shot.'

Just then, the floating tea pot arrived at their table and it started to howl.

Severus Snape looked up curious. His eyes stopped on her face for several long moments. She looked back at him mortified.

Severus glanced at the boy sitting across from her. He was a lanky sixteen year-old with matted, brown hair. He wore a very large blue sweater with the imprint of a Quidditch team on the back and some scruffy jeans that looked fifty years old.

Severus could have almost chuckled only he was curious why Granger was sitting there with him.

He took off his black cardigan, revealing a brown shirt and searched the cardigan's pockets for his watch. When he found it, he placed it on the table next to his cup.

He knew that young boy from his classes. He was a fairly intelligent Ravenclaw but nothing to be amazed about.

Hermione was folding the napkin into many squares.

'Are you alright?' he asked worried. 'Is something wrong?'

'No, no, of course not. I just remembered I was…supposed to write to my parents. Anyway, go on,' she said taking the cup vigorously and almost draining it from a single sip.

'Well, do you think those plans are too pretentious?'

'Becoming Head of the Department?'

_Yes._

'No, why would they be? Everyone dreams of achieving some things in life. And your dreams are very big, but they're not pretentious, they're…challenging.'

'I've always liked a good challenge.'

Severus used an inaudible spell to make their conversation audible to him. He wanted to be amused.

'Me too. I like it when I can't solve things easily. I guess I like mysteries.'

'Well, I have to say, Hermione, you're almost a mystery too.'

This statement took Hermione by surprise.

'Me? No, I think I'm like an open book.'

'Well, beyond you being part of the Trio, the school doesn't know a lot about you. They judge you and give you a label, bookworm or something like that but not many really know you. They only know you're hardworking, but beyond that? You're not such an open book, you know.'

'Well, I've told you a couple of things about me, so you can surmise that I'm not trying to hide anything. If people ask, I'll answer.'

'Well…you don't tell them everything, do you?' he asked. 'I mean everyone's got their secrets.'

Hermione swallowed and poured herself another cup of tea.

'Yeah, sure, I don't tell people my secrets. Because I don't have any,' she said smiling.

Terry chuckled. 'That's impossible.'

'Really, I am rather boring when you think about it.'

'I don't think so. You're a lot more interesting than most of the girls in my year. If you're boring then they're downright obnoxious.'

'I'm a lot more interesting? Is it because of…'

'Potter has nothing to do with it,' Terry interrupted keenly. 'Even if you weren't his friend, you'd still be pretty interesting on your own.'

Severus almost rolled his eyes. This boy had the subtlety of a shotgun. Why is it that this boy found it so hard to compliment Granger? It wasn't because he was intimidated by her, was it? What chap would be intimidated by that walking bushy hair?

He could've found some better adjectives to describe Granger than interesting.

_For starters, annoying, brash, impulsive, dimwitted, absent-minded, narcissistic control freak, pedant, talentless, walking definition of vanity, righteous, pig-headed, good-looking in red, good thinker when not completely stupid. _

'I could say the same about you. When we used to patrol at nights, we barely saw each other and you weren't that interesting,' Hermione said.

Terry's smile faded a bit. He hadn't expected her to be this brutally honest.

_But that's Granger for you_, Snape thought amused.

'I'm glad you changed your opinion of me,' he said sheepishly.

_Who says she did? _Snape thought again.

Hermione nodded sipping thoroughly from her cup. She picked a biscuit and stuffed her mouth with it. She knew she looked ridiculous and probably insane but she wanted to get out of there soon. And she was a bit stressed out and when she was stressed out she had a habit of eating a lot.

'Can we get more biscuits? I love these biscuits. I swear, my grandmother doesn't make better biscuits,' she chirped.

'Oh, sure. Hey, Deena, more biscuits here, will you?'

'So, um, remember when I told you, Hermione, that this would be a casual date between Prefects?'

She nodded, gulping down more tea.

'Well, I hope you don't think I'm impolite if I say I might have lied to you. I wanted to get to know you and maybe become something more than friends.'

Hermione choked on her tea and started coughing like mad.

'That in time, of course, no rush! I just wanted to say I admire you. That is all,' he said anxiously.

'Well, um,' she panted as she steadied her breath, 'that's…a surprise.'

_Really? Does it come as a surprise Granger? After all those choked-up attempts at smothering you? _Snape thought.

She stole a quick glance towards Snape who harboured a small, ironic smile at the corner of his mouth.

'You don't seem to be…taking it well,' Terry said worried.

'No, I just didn't expect that. I feel very…flattered, but I'm not sure whether I could get in a relationship…'

'You've got someone else, haven't you?'

Hermione's face suddenly burnt up, her eyes showing great alarm.

'What makes you think that?!'

'Well, you know, you and Weasley and Potter are very close and I thought maybe…'

'Ah,' Hermione breathed relieved and smiled, 'No, no, Terry, I'm really just friends with them.'

'Well then?'

'Um…I like you Terry, I really do, but can I think about it more? I'm not really ready.'

'Oh.'

'You see, I'm just friends with Harry and Ron but I used to think that…Ron liked me but he obviously does not, he is with Lavender now and I have to get over that,' she answered.

It wasn't a complete lie. She did feel bad about Ron and Lavender.

'Oh, I understand, I know how that feels like.'

'You do? Then you know it's hard.'

'Yeah…I won't pressure you or anything. I just want you to know I'm here if you need a friend.'

'That's really sweet of you, Terry,' she said smiling.

_Good God, he's thicker than Weasley, if that is possible, _Snape thought.

He got up and went to bathroom.

Hermione felt this was the right time to go too so she politely excused herself and went to the bathroom.

She saw him enter the men's room so she pushed the door open and went inside as well.

'Granger. What the hell are you doing in this bathroom? Did you read the sign on the door?'

'Sir, I wanted to talk.'

'And you couldn't wait until I got out?'

'We can't talk out there in the open,' she said looking at her feet. 'I'm with someone.'

Suddenly she remembered how their last meeting had transpired.

'I can see,' he answered.

'He must not hear. It's about…us.'

'You make it sound so much more intriguing than it really is.'

'Draco knows. That's all I'm saying. Draco knows about us being involved. I couldn't find any other moment to tell you.'

Snape frowned and looked away.

'Yes,' he said at length. 'Predictable. That tramp told Lucius and that excuse of a son he has, heard him. Pardon my language, Granger.'

'Nevermind that. He _will_ talk about it. He's loathed me for years and now's his big chance to make me suffer. He won't be able to help himself! And guess what happens then? The entire school will know.'

Severus put his hands into his pockets.

'What makes you think he'll talk?'

'Are you serious? Of course he'll talk! He's a spoilt brat that wants to see me go down in flames.'

'Has he talked until now? We should wait and see first. I'll talk to him tonight,' he said calmly.

'How can you be so calm?'

'I don't panic easily, Granger. It wouldn't be useful at all. We have to take this one step at a time.'

But he was panicking a bit. Of course he wouldn't show this to her. He also felt very uncomfortable with her there, but that was probably visible.

'I hope you know what you're doing. I wouldn't like to be called a…you know.'

'No, I don't know.'

'That kind of woman.'

'You Granger? Why never,' he replied. 'Go back to your date quietly. It wouldn't do us well to be seen in this situation, now, would it?'

'It's not a date,' she corrected angrily.

'I don't know how you teenagers call it these days.'

'Terry is my friend.'

'He seems like the friendly type. Now if you'll excuse me Granger, I'll do what I came here for.'

'I…right…I'll see you at school. Sir.'

Before she stepped out she turned to ask him something that kept bothering her.

'Sir, do you come here often?'

'To the bathroom? Whenever nature calls, Granger.'

'No, I meant the Howling Tea-Pot. It doesn't seem like your kind of place.'

'You obviously don't know how much I appreciate peace and quiet.'

That was allusion to her bothering him constantly. She glared and left the bathroom.

* * *

_THE EPISODES OF A LIFE._

He stooped above her, ready to kiss her when she pushed him away.

'What the heck are you doing?'

'Just wanted to give you a kiss,' he said matter-of-factly.

'Find someone else to kiss, I'm busy,' Pansy snapped.

'With what?'

'I'm helping your mother sort the family jewels,' she said jotting something down on her list. She was sprawled on the couch in front of the fire.

'How about showing me some affection? You're in my house, after all.'

'Oh my God, you are actually using that card? You really are desperate Draco. Why can't you wait a bit?'

'You're always disgusted by me.'

'No, I'm not. I don't like you, but there's a big stretch between not liking you and being disgusted by you.'

Draco left the room in big strides. He punched the walls as he passed by some portraits. He crashed on his bed throwing the covers away.

Why was it so hard to be accepted?

_THE END OF EPISODES OF A LIFE.

* * *

_

Draco looked over the grounds of Hogwarts. He was sitting in the Astronomy Tower, playing with a pocket telescope.

His back burnt from his father's punishment. He hadn't slept well in a while. He put his cloak over his head, feeling alone and cold, like a desert at night.

Lavender walked up the stairs excited. Ron had told her he would meet her up in the Astronomy Tower tonight. She had put on a very nice pink blouse and long earrings and she had let her hair down. She was wearing many bracelets, one with a big L encrusted in it.

She pushed the door open quietly and snuck in. She saw him sitting by the window, playing with a telescope.

Lavender smiled wickedly and trod on quietly towards him.

She snuck up behind him, turned him around and kissed him hard on the lips, bringing her arms around him.

The telescope dropped from his hands and he at first did not know how to react. He let his hands down paralyzed but then slowly brought them up to her back.

Lavender opened her eyes and shrieked into his mouth.

She jumped back almost falling in the process. He caught her arm.

'Malfoy!'

'Brown?' he inquired dazed.

'I thought…I thought…you were…' she mumbled. One of her long earrings dropped on the floor. She turned around, almost nauseous and ran out of the room, slamming the door in the process.

Draco picked up his telescope and the earring.

* * *

Lavender rushed down the stairs, down the corridors, up the stairs again, mumbled the password, ran up to her dorm and sank on the bed, trembling. She put her pillow over her head.

'What did I do?' she mumbled distressed. 'What did I do?'

After an hour or so, Parvati noticed Lavender was sitting on the bed, motionless. When she went to talk to her she refused to speak.

She remembered Lavender had told her she would go to the Astronomy Tower tonight.

When Parvati came down from the girls' dormitory, she saw Ron playing chess with Harry.

'Ron Weasley!'

He looked up, surprised to see Parvati glaring at him.

'Care to explain why Lavender is upset?'

'Er…I have no idea. I didn't do anything,' Ron said worried.

'That's right. You didn't do anything. Weren't you supposed to meet her in the Astronomy Tower tonight?'

Ron slapped his forehead.

'Oh, bollocks, I completely forgot about that.'

'Yeah, well, thanks to you, my best friend is sulking. You'd better fix this,' she said and stormed to the dorm again.

Ron went to the bottom of the stairs.

'Lavender! Lav? Come down please, we've got to talk.'

Lavender heard him but she squinted her eyes hard and pulled the covers over her head.

* * *

**And this was another really long chapter! I like writing long ones. I hope you liked it. Next chapter will be called "Russian Dance" inspired by Tom Waits' song of course. **


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